How do you feel if your SO calls someone elses SO beautiful in front of you and

[imfinna]

i am curious...did you ever have the feeling he thought he knew what you also needed to hear....and used that in a manipulative way kind of?

 

the people with this habit that i have personally met...they seem to assume everyone will bask in an ego-stoke and hence allow them....i dunno...just things they otherwise wouldn't like in a person, friend, partner, coworker...

 

i resent the assumption behind it ya know...implied vapid bimbocity or immaturity...that's how i personally feel, i know not everyone gets that vibe or is sensitive to it.

 

it reminds me of that quote.."i can usually tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks i am".

 

so i pass on people who underestimate others...and overestimate themselves...or project their placid shallow social currency on others.

 

 

Good question but no I never felt that way at all--I honestly do think that this is just how he is and has never thought about it any further. For lack of a better way of explaining him but not to just condense him into this...but he's kind of a "country boy" with a southern charm and this "sub-culture" typically seems to carry such mannerisms but he's also much more than that. But like a lot humans do, or rather don't do, I don't think he was thinking about any of it beyond just being "nice."

 

He's a very humble, kind man yet has an insecurity of his level of intelligence even though he's highly intelligent but he used to say to me how he felt like he's inadequate for me--thinking I didn't think of him as being intelligent enough for my standard.

 

And when brought up to him, he did see where I was coming from but he also didn't want to feel like he had to change himself for me...

But in my opinion, I wonder why he holds this to such high regard...not of changing himself but of this specific behavior. But I suppose it's compromise to alter the behavior so that both parties are content, but he doesn't to be in a relationship hence doesn't want compromise because he's selfish (his words that I agree with).

[OMC]

I know he's not hitting on them and I understand what you mean plus I know this stems from my own insecurities but I feel it's just a strange thing to feel the need to do...like it's unnecessary. I don't see why anyone would do that in front of their SO...

 

When I'm with someone, even if it's early stage of dating, I wouldn't ever be complimenting other men in front of the guy I'm with because I feel like that would make them feel uncomfortable/they might feel inadequate

 

I can see where you are coming from, it definitely is uncomfortable and it's not funny. Breaking up sounds a bit extreme but he should listen to you and put in a bit of sensibility. Hope this doesn't apply in other aspects of your relationship.