I'm SO hurt

[sdguy118]

i don't know what to do. My girlfriend of 11 months, whom i still am in love with, i love her SO MUCH, just told me she went out on a date with another guy, and she thinks she's into him. ok seriously, we've only been broken up for like 3 1/2 weeks. last week she told me that she didn't love anymore and that she wanted to start seeing other people, i told her she didn't mean that and we could work things out. omg, i can't believe this is happening. so tonight, stupidly i called her, and she told me she went on a date last friday night. i was like "WHAT"???????!!!?!?!?! it really hurt to hear that. turns out the guy is going to UCSD nearby, wants to become a lawyer, and is tall dark and handsome with little more muscle than me, is what she told me. omg, i can't breathe, i seriously feel like i'm about to pass out. how could she do this? it seriously hasn't been that long at all. she told me she's interested in him, and she wants to go out with him again. i just can't believe this. i told her she made the biggest mistake of her life, and she's with a mediocre guy...and she told me, well you don't even know him, he's a really nice guy, i like him alot. omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what should i do? what can i do? why does this hurt so bad?

[Scorpio]

Sdguy118, I'm so sorry to hear the way shes been treating you..she doesnt deserve the attention from one guy, let alone two.

 

If she had any kind of feelings or respect for you, she would've waited longer. The trouble is, if she ended it (which by the sounds of it, she did) then you dont know if shes been dating other people while you were together. Im not trying to make the situation worse than it is, but just try and realise, she mightn't be as perfect as you imagined.

 

She is being particulalry hurtful, especially if you've done nothing to upset her (like cheating). She will invariably end up regetting the way she has treated you, it might not be immediate, it may not even be in a few months - but if this thing with him falls apart she will come crawling back to you, because you are her comfort and security.

 

Im not preaching that you should go out and meet other people right away, but you just have to remember she isnt the only girl on the planet, and you will undoubtely meet one who treats you with respect and love. Plus, if you go out and meet other people it shows to her that she didnt mean that much to you, even if she does/did - self preservation is importnt, you shouldnt allow yourself to be beaten up emotionally (i learnt that recently).

 

Sadly, I cant think of anything more you can do apart from what I've said, you could cut contact with her and try to forget her, or cut contact and hope she comes calling (because curiosity killed the cat remember!), but the most important aspect of this is to get stronger as a result. It mightn't happen for a long time, but it will happen. At the moment you're hurting because you can't understand why she would do this to you, and you probably thouhgt you were ideal for one another.

 

Sadly she hasnt been thinking like that and has looked elsewhere - she may yet come sniffing about to see what you are up to, if this happens the best thing you can do is to make sure you protect your feelings (whether you get involved with her again or not, you have to look after numero uno).

 

Hope that helped in some way,

Scorpio

[lady00]

Sorry man. That is her way of trying to move on...dating others. I think that you should try your best to not have contact with her...you don't need to hear about her dates. Talking to her right now will not give you any joy whatsoever. Just try to get away from talking to her so that you can heal and move on.

[sdguy118]

Thank you so much for writing me back. I seriously don't know how I'm going to make it through this. This is what's weird. I remember so many times looking at her thinking to myself, my friends are right, there are defenitely a lot better looking girls out there, but the thing is, i'm SO IN LOVE WITH HER, she's what i want. I know she didn't treat me right all the time, but what we had together was great, it seemed like she was the one. I have to tell you, i'm a very emotional guy, I find myself just crying all the time over this. She told me today that she never really loved me as much as i loved her. she said that she always felt timid saying "i love you" even though she said it ALL THE TIME. i told her i seriously love her, and she said she knows. omg, i can't believe she said this...i seriously love her! it's just not fair at all. i mean, she's going out and she's all fine and everything, and here i am feeling like i've lost out big. I seriously can't eat anything, i try hard, but have no appetite and a desire for no food. I can't sleep, been waking up every morning at 530, and can't fall back asleep, cry myself to sleep and get to the point where my body just naturally falls asleep i get so tired. i can't concentrate on anything at all, i just don't know what to do. I'm scared because i finish college in a month and a week!!!! i'm trying so hard to pass all my classes and it's just so hard. I just feel like there's no hope in anything. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. and what's funny, my she even told me that on the phone. she always used to tell me it wasn't true, but now, now she is telling me, you know it actually IS true "i'm sorry you're feeling like this". I'm like, thats it? you're sorry? I told her for the first time in my life, i'm in love, and i know that it's too late. she says she's yeah, she's sorry i feel that way. all i can think about is her getting close with this guy, her doing the same things with this guy as we did, not just physically but more just being with her holding her than anything. I am a Serious cuddler...i love cuddling, i loved being with her. i can't believe this is happening. i feel like a total loser. I know i'm a nice guy, i love being me. I told her i would always treat her better than anyone, and she even said, "i know". why would she not want that?? this is killing me...........

[sdguy118]

Thank you so much for writing me back. I seriously don't know how I'm going to make it through this. This is what's weird. I remember so many times looking at her thinking to myself, my friends are right, there are defenitely a lot better looking girls out there, but the thing is, i'm SO IN LOVE WITH HER, she's what i want. I know she didn't treat me right all the time, but what we had together was great, it seemed like she was the one. I have to tell you, i'm a very emotional guy, I find myself just crying all the time over this. She told me today that she never really loved me as much as i loved her. she said that she always felt timid saying "i love you" even though she said it ALL THE TIME. i told her i seriously love her, and she said she knows. omg, i can't believe she said this...i seriously love her! it's just not fair at all. i mean, she's going out and she's all fine and everything, and here i am feeling like i've lost out big. I seriously can't eat anything, i try hard, but have no appetite and a desire for no food. I can't sleep, been waking up every morning at 530, and can't fall back asleep, cry myself to sleep and get to the point where my body just naturally falls asleep i get so tired. i can't concentrate on anything at all, i just don't know what to do. I'm scared because i finish college in a month and a week!!!! i'm trying so hard to pass all my classes and it's just so hard. I just feel like there's no hope in anything. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. and what's funny, my she even told me that on the phone. she always used to tell me it wasn't true, but now, now she is telling me, you know it actually IS true "i'm sorry you're feeling like this". I'm like, thats it? you're sorry? I told her for the first time in my life, i'm in love, and i know that it's too late. she says she's yeah, she's sorry i feel that way. all i can think about is her getting close with this guy, her doing the same things with this guy as we did, not just physically but more just being with her holding her than anything. I am a Serious cuddler...i love cuddling, i loved being with her. i can't believe this is happening. i feel like a total loser. I know i'm a nice guy, i love being me. I told her i would always treat her better than anyone, and she even said, "i know". why would she not want that?? this is killing me...........