Dating younger girls

[Rosex]

In the UK, the legal age for drinking, voting, betting and buying pornography is 18. However, at 16 like you say, they can finish school if they want, can legally smoke, have sex, get married (with parents permission), get their own place and work full time.

 

So I think the issue is definitely divided by the cultural differences. A 16 year old in the UK is very much, not seen as a child.

 

In answer to the original question, I don't see a problem with the age gap if you are both sensible. I remember when I was 16, I had my own place, worked and did collage and dated a 26 year old . I think because I was seen as responsible enough with all other aspects of my life, it wasn't really a problem for anyone.

 

But just a word of warning - the UK has an appalling teenage pregnancy rate

[volution]

Yep - teen pregnancy rate is the highest in Europe.

Part of the reason why - single teen mothers get treated like royalty - all kinds of benefits, housing etc., that normal people have to wait months for or never get at all if they are working a real job.

 

Men do appear to mature slower than women in this country.

 

In my opinion, I don't think most 16 yr-old girls are mature enough to bring up a child. They still haven't worked out who they are themselves yet. Even at 26, most girls in this country seem to be fun-loving and irresponsible. A lot of people when they hit 30 suddenly start worrying for no reason, as if their life is over (partying and getting drunk isn't the only thing in life!) and quickly marry or have children as if they won't be able to ever again! Perhaps this is the reason why the divorce rate is so high (over 60%!) - people just settle for anyone! Which ain't good!

 

 

 

 

 

In the UK, the legal age for drinking, voting, betting and buying pornography is 18. However, at 16 like you say, they can finish school if they want, can legally smoke, have sex, get married (with parents permission), get their own place and work full time.

 

So I think the issue is definitely divided by the cultural differences. A 16 year old in the UK is very much, not seen as a child.

 

In answer to the original question, I don't see a problem with the age gap if you are both sensible. I remember when I was 16, I had my own place, worked and did collage and dated a 26 year old . I think because I was seen as responsible enough with all other aspects of my life, it wasn't really a problem for anyone.

 

But just a word of warning - the UK has an appalling teenage pregnancy rate

[Rosex]

if only it was that simple, would make my job a lot easier, they are entitled to the same benefits as a woman any age in the same situation. The vast majority of teenage pregnancies are not planned. So it may be seen a little harsh to tarnish all young mums with the same brush.

 

Anyway, I'm sure Postie is not planning on going down that path so soon with his young lady

[DN]

God may well bless America but I don't think the blessings are exclusive to one country. Nor do I think that claiming the culture or norms of behaviour of one country are superior to others is helpful in promoting understanding between nations. Americans may find a brief glimpse of Janet Jackson's nipple appalling whereas most people in Europe find nude images not at all unusual. Americans may find age-gap relationships shocking whereas most people in Europe are equally shocked at the gun-related murder rate in the US.

 

I grew up in the UK, and most people I know over there are not as accepting as age-gap relationships as you may think. But to accuse those who are of being perverted is a bit silly. It may be unwise, and usually does not turn out well, but if a girl is past the age of consent and the relationship is not one of unequal power (i.e. teacher/student) it is not perverted, certainly not in the sense of pedophilia, which is an attraction to pre-pubescent children.

 

It is not that long ago in American history that girls married in middle teen years, much the same as in Europe: See the link for an essay on the age of Shakespeare's Juliet: link removed.

 

This was not an age-gap relationship but the point is that people were deemed to be ready for marriage much earlier than they are now. Times change and the reasons for early marriage are no longer valid but that doesn't mean perversion if things change.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

It is true that young teenage girls married very young around a century ago, but it also true that many young teenagers (of both sexes) were required to work up to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, in dangerous and revolting factories. Back then children had almost no rights. Now they do. The fact is that too many adults are evil and are ready to take advantage of younger persons...whether at work, or in a romantic relationships. We MUST protect the young (who are weak) from the old (who are powerful). This protection includes both shaming, as well as legal punishments.

[DN]

I think the anology is false. If someone is being forced in any way to do something wrong, dangerous or immoral that is one thing. But if a society gives people over a certain age the right, by law or custom, to choose to do something or not, then it is not a question of morality it is a question of wisdom and judgement. We can then advise against a certain course of action based on our perception of whether the action is wise. But the morality of the decision has already been decided by the society governing that culture. And my main point is that to make sweeping judgements about the morality of other cultures in a rapidly changing world is not wise. Any culture or country that seeks to impose its morals, values and culture on another is likely to become less than popular.

[Postie]

They haven't hung me yet..

[volution]

Agree with you on the acceptance of some age-gaps in the UK.

Whereas it seems 'the norm' for women to generally have older men as partners, when it's reversed the other way round, a younger man with and older women (any more than just a couple [2/3] years), then it's just thought of as some kind of 'toyboy' relationship, that it's not and can never be serious and would only be about sex - and people react accordingly which can be quite humiliating. (Part of this is an ancient collective-unconscious belief that younger men would be wasting their sperm on an older woman)

I don't think it is PHYSICAL AGE we should all be talking about - we should also think about INNER AGE (or SPIRITUAL AGE) - or if you prefer, MATURITY.

If someone isn't mature, and doesn't know about the games of love and sex, and doesn't have much experience, it would be wrong for a mature person (who does know these games etc.) to take advantage of them.

 

Yep, I know all about the renaissance period - studied it when I did my English Lit. GCSE almost 10 years ago. It's interesting to note that people in their early 20s were considered MIDDLE AGE!!!! It was indeed common for people to marry in their mid-late teens and have children before 20, as fertility span and life expectancy was low.

But remember, marriage then was just a 'duty' - it was 'expected' of you, and often most marriages were loveless and pre-orchestrated by relatives, sometimes before birth!

Marriage now, is a much more complicated ritual - we embue it with all kinds of meanings, hopes and dreams.

 

To be 'ready' for marriage back then, was just

To be 'ready' for marriage now, society has collective-unconsciously written an unwritten set of rules, dictums and criterion that people seem to follow before they can contemplate or consider marriage.

[Postie]

I'm amazed really, there is a post on here about a 41 year old guy dating a 16 year old and i get called a peedo !!!!

 

I'm 23!

[Mysterious Gurl]

Heya!

 

I only read your post and the posts on page one (way too many)

 

Anyhow I just want to say, I don't have a problem with age gap relationships I think their perfectly normal. I think society should accept resonable age gap relationship unless there are boundries.

 

Go for it!

 

Miya

[bruind]

if you dont feel or act your age, then how do you think can you have a good relationship a girl way younger than you are?

 

if you want to pursue this with her, i think you should be more mature first. the way i see your posts, im inclined to ask, how can this man be able to handle a relationship or child for that matter, if he himself is not responosible enough...

 

just my two cents