Dating younger girls

[Postie]

I do have a job yes, but i still live at home.

 

I suspose i'll have to end it then

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Put it on hold....if she really is that special, then I am sure you can wait for her. Just wait a couple of years...until she is more mature and older, and when you have more structure in your life. I know that not having a girl can hurt..i have never had a girlfriend....i am sure she is a wonderful girl, but the best thing is to wait. True love waits!!!!! If she is really that special, then I am sure you can wait a couple of years for her.

[DragonGirl724]

its ok to live at home, but you gotta work on mentally growing up. dont become an old man, youre young have fun, be irresponsible at times, live life man! but dating a 16 year old is not living it up, its reverting back to childhood. let this girl experience her teen years. she doesnt know what she wants, trust me. no 16 year old knows for sure...most people dont know until theyre much older & much wiser. she has a lot to learn & a ton to experience, as do you. let her be.

 

-DG724

[Uniquely_Pink]

I think the age diff is fine! I mean, if she is fine with it, you are and so are you-two's parents then tis fine! If you both really DO love each other, stay together. Just whatever you do, don't Use her in anyway way, as she is vunrible! as she can get hurt easily as she is still in high school and still younge, due to her age, relationships play quiet a big part in a teens life. Good luck with it! 8)

[DragonGirl724]

oh please, this isnt love & he knows it.

 

-DG724

[Postie]

Do i??

 

Ok if you say so.

 

I happen to care about her alot.

[DragonGirl724]

well postie,

 

love is not being with a child, which she is, to escape the realities & responsibilities of being an adult. you like her, well thats all well & good. i like animals, but does that mean i should go have a relationship with one?

 

goodluck.

 

-DG724

[melrich]

Face it guys, 16 year olds are having sex. And don't throw legalities at it...being legal or not does not determine right or wrong on moral issues. Most places in the world 16 is legal. And pedophilia? Well that's just being hysterical in this case.

 

If both of you are responsible, her parents know about the relationship, you sound like you want to do the right thing by her, then go for it. Just keep in mind that you will have to make compromises in your relationship because of her age, as other posters have said.

[DragonGirl724]

richgabe,

 

did you take note of the part where he said he cant seem to grow up & take on the responsibilities as an adult?? hes reverting to younger girls as a coping mechanism. Ala Michael Jackson. and as for acceptance on sex...yeah ok 16 year olds have sex...thats not the issue. im 21 & id be DAMNED if i dated a 14 year old!?!? cmon now!

 

-DG724

[melrich]

Yeah Dragongirl I agree, a 21 year old dating a 14 year old is not right, neither is an 18 year old dating an 11 year old.

 

But 16 years old is 16 years old. It is not 14, it is not 11 and it is not the age group we are talking about with Jackson (10 - 14)

 

Let me tell you when I was 17 -18 we hung out with girls who were 16 - 17 and we were all sexually active, I'm sure nothing has changed. Let me also say i was a hell of a lot less responsible at 18 than I was at 23. At 18, excuse the graphic language, your testosterone is raging and you really don't care that much how or with who you get off with.

 

If I was the parent of a 16 year old girl would I want them going out with a 23 year old? If I thought he was a decent guy and responsible I would prefer it to an 18 year old who I thought was a ratbag and into the wrong crowd.

 

Look I agree the ages here are at the margins...you would not want much more difference either way. But to put it into the category of Jackson or pedophilia is hysteria and inflammatory.

 

If they like each other (he says they do) if he respects her (he says he does, if he wants to do the right thing (he says he does) then inherently the age in this case is not an insurmountable issue. And really he may be a very young 23 year old and she may be a very mature 16 year old.

 

This age difference is no where near the realms of pedophilia.

[DragonGirl724]

i mentioned Michael Jackson b/c he resorted backwards b/c he was too afraid of growing up! he did not want to deal with the worries & responsibilities an adult has to worry about (he said so himself on the first page or so!),

The thing is, although i'm 23, i feel like a teenager.

 

I'm not a man, i don't feel responsible yet!!!!

 

so when people think that way they surround themselves with people like them...younger people...in this guy's case 16 year old girls.

 

sorry, there is nothing healthy about that!...no matter what the age! ESPECIALLY IF SEX IS INVOLVED!

 

-DG724

[melrich]

Yeah it was an off the cuff remark..."I still feel like a teenager"...God I haveaid that recently myself..."I don't want to think about a house and morgtage and stuff"...who does.

 

This is a 23 year old talking...not a 35 year old! 23 year olds are allowed to feel in a twighlight zone...not sure whether they should be mature upstanding citizens or they should be hanging on to their carefree teenage years.

 

This guy acknowledges he has concerns about the age gap. He has said nothing but respectful things about his girlfriend. He even said he would end it when a few posters told him he should. i get the impression this guy is very aware of the potential issues and very considerate of them. He hasn't hidden from her parents, he still lives with his parents so they are not shacking up any time soon...I have no problem with it has it has been told to us.

[DragonGirl724]

He hasn't hidden from her parents

 

just out of curiosity how do you know that?

 

whatever, all i know is that i know how 23 year olds think. funny how a 21 yr old who dates a 14 year old is disturbing but a 23 year old dating a 16 year old (14 & 16 year olds are usually in the same GRADE!) is ok, b/c a 16 yr old IS SO MUCH MORE MATURE than a 14 yr old.

 

my advice: find a lay, or a GF, or whatever this is, with someone your own age.

 

and thats all im saying about this, because this is completely ubsurd to me. the girl isnt even out of SCHOOL YET.

 

GOODLUCK!

 

-DG724

[melrich]

Well I don't know for sure beyond the fact that he said her parents are OK with their relationship. I guess for the purposes of giving advice on these forums you have accept on trust the posters statements. Otherwise you'd have to second guess everything.

[DragonGirl724]

Well I don't know for sure beyond the fact that he said her parents are OK with their relationship. I guess for the purposes of giving advice on these forums you have accept on trust the posters statements. Otherwise you'd have to second guess everything.

 

oh i didnt see the part where he said that her parents said it was ok. sorry.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

supreman, in the UK & other foreign countries there is no "legal age".

 

crazy huh.

 

-DG724

[Postie]

Right firstly i'm from the UK where 16 is the legal age.

 

Secondly i'm very, very upset at being called a peedo, cheers for that.

 

Thirdly, i'm very good friends with her family and regularly go for a drink with her father.

 

To be honest, i couldn't give a toss what you highly strung americans think. I'm happy and so is she, bye.

[BrokenSerenity]

Oh god here goes....

People, seeing as you are suppoed to be smart understand that:

1. The guy is from the UK and in the UK the legal age is 16

2. How the hell do you know that she hasn't left 'high school'? In ENGLAND you leave 'high school' aka secondary school when you are 15-16, then you go into college or 6th form when your 16-18 and then to Uni when your 18 onwards... So it is likely that she HAS left high school or is in her last year of high school

3. There is only 7 years between them... Come on, there are relationships were there is 25 years between the couple, where the female is 15 and the male is 40... Now thats something to be concerned about

 

Calling the original poster a peado because he is into someone that is of the LEGAL age of consent in his country is, in my opinion, rather... STUPID!

 

Anyways, i am done...

[avman]

I'd like to remind everyone to please respect each other when stating your opinion. Enough name calling.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey ive sent you a PM, check it out if you want *smiles*

 

Kel.

[DragonGirl724]

Right firstly i'm from the UK where 16 is the legal age.

 

Secondly i'm very, very upset at being called a peedo, cheers for that.

 

Thirdly, i'm very good friends with her family and regularly go for a drink with her father.

 

To be honest, i couldn't give a toss what you highly strung americans think. I'm happy and so is she, bye.

 

ok well FIRST of all no one said "Postie, youre a pedi". so understand that. and SECOND you asked for our opinions on this situation ...and well you got them! whether or not you like what we thought about it.

 

To be honest, i couldn't give a toss what you highly strung americans think

 

if you dont want our opinions then why ask for them???

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

i agree. they see us "highly strung". we see this situation as "highly wrong".

 

its a cultural difference & nothing either of us say about eachother's cultural backround is going to change anything.

 

we see this girl as a CHILD & you as an adult whole clearly said you cant or dont want to grow up. so in the eyes of Americans that is a real sketchy combination. it would never go over well in the States thats all.

 

God Bless America.

 

-DG724

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Just imagine if your 16 year old daughter or son was going out with 23 year old. HOw would you feel about it? I would ban it. I tell you, my kids aren't dating until they are 18!!! They scream, call me a _____father, i don't care. They are not dating until they are 18, and they are not going to date anyone grossly older or younger than them.

[BrokenSerenity]

If my 16 year old daughter was going out with an older guy, i couldn't really say much about being against it because i have been there before. What i would do though is make sure that the age gap wasn't too obscene and make sure that the guy is decent... At the end of the day your child will rebel and do what they want to do regardless of whether you say it's ok or not, so rather than dismissing it straight away i'll compromise and meet her half way if the guy she is with is decent and treats her right... Etc

[annie24]

Yup - It looks like everyone from the US is creeped out and everyone from the UK thinks it's normal and fine. I think that the huge difference is the laws here in america. In the US, a 16 year old can't drink, can't go to clubs or bars, can't vote, can't work full time, JUST started driving, can't be in the military, is not allowed to live without a parent or guardian, isn't legally an adult, hasn't finished even high school. A 16 year old is still a child through the eyes of the law. So, from our perspective, what can a 16 year old possibly have in common with a 23 year old?

 

But, I guess in the UK, from my understanding, a 16 year old is legally an "adult" and doesn't have to go to school anymore and is allowed to work full time. Is this correct?