What would happen if....

[esboogie143]

I call? I have anxiety and im soooo tempted!!! Please help!!! Though I know whats right its hard to do it! My heart is racing and its inching toward the phone!! PLEASE HELP!!!!

[lookingforclosure5]

Don't do it. Go for a drive, take a bath, do 100 jumping jacks... it won't make you feel better... it is very likely make you feel worse. Put the phone away. Sometimes if I don't want to make the call I will put my phone in a drawer or hide it in my laundry bin... just somewhere where it isn't sitting right there next to me. Stay strong... you can do it!

[DN]

Every time you want to call, get on here and ask if you should. One of us will tell you "no" and reinforce why you should not.

[Royltnxile]

Don't call him! Keep your composure and put it out of your mind.

If you are truly feeling the desperate need to call, then you are in no emotional state to have a conversation with him. You are being ruled by your emotions. Don't call him until you are rational.

 

Remember, until you get over the idea that can't live without this person, you are going to act out of fear. You're better than that. Wait until you lose your fear of losing him before you contact him.

[katiekate1982]

Hey Esboogie!!

 

I'm sorry you are feeling like this right now. TRY not to call it more then likely won't make you feel any better afterwards. Believe me I know it sucks, but if you ever want to be back with him, play hard to get. I'm sure once you don't call him, he'll wonder whats going on and probably call you. I've read a few of your last posts, and I feel horrible for your situation, but it will get better.

 

I personally try not to have any contact with my ex of 2 months, VERY hard at times, he usually tries to call me and sometimes I return the call. I sent him a " Happy Easter" email the other day and basically it said just that. He already called back and left me a message saying to call him when I had a chance. I know its my own fault for emailing him in the 1st place, but I was trying to be friendly and that is the type of person I am. I just wish he would have emailed me back saying the same instead of calling, cause I know I will feel guilty if I don't call. ERRRRR!

 

I'm sorry I was going on about me. You have to worry about you and try not to stress about this guy, you seem like a very nice person who deserves much better. Maybe my little story will make you feel a little better. Well anyway, take care of yourself and stay strong, DON'T CALL HIM!!!!

 

Take care,

 

Katie

[keefy1972]

esboogie, I am one that goes through the exact same thing as you. I get some serious anxiety that if I don't call, it reinforces the other person's belief that I don't care, accept and am ok with it being over, and believe it will soothe my feelings and make me feel all better by hearing their voice. Truth be told it actually has the opposite effect. If you call, you are being very needy in his eyes. A real turn off for most. It shows that you do not accept that it is over and lead them on into believing that you are not strong enough to live YOUR life without them. Again, needy and unattractive. Your feelings will not be soothed. Either you will feel worse after the conversation because he will be angered or annoyed that you called, or you will feel a small temporary relief and the false hopes that you are spending so much time fighting will re-emerge because they will be so loving and accepting of your phone call and actually have a really nice conversation with you (which is what always happens when I call). On the surface this seems as a good thing. It is not. All it does is provide you with the hopes that maybe they are coming to their senses and realize how good you are for them. Then, just like that, the back and forth cycle starts up all over again. No matter what the outcome, you are trying to gain a sense of purpose for your life, and your life's purpose is not him. You have so much more in life than to be leading it for someone else. Happiness starts from within.

 

"Get busy living, or get busy dying. You're damned right!"