Friends bad decisions affecting me! (too much?)

[emma34]

I don't know what to do. See - it's always been the four of us. My best friend, her boyfriend, me, and my boyfriend. We were just always best friends - we did everything together. In November I broke it off with my boyfriend (2.5 years) and although everything changed, I found solace in knowing that my best friend and her boyfriend were always still there. It was tragic. Recently my best friend turned 18 and I've been concernd with the amount of partying shes been doing. We party a lot - but shes just been doing stupid things once she starts drinking. She cheated on her boyfriend this past Thursday, and then when she told her boyfriend and they decided to stay together, she figured she wanted to break up with him anyway - so she dumped him (after 1.5 years) She was really harsh and although I wanted to be there for him, I made the obvious choice, and I haven't spoken to him in over a week. I feel just awful for him though.

 

All that he asked was that she not go out with this guy - at least not right away (the one she cheated with)...because he was so heartbroken. Although she complied, shes been seeing him constantly and they've been VERY close (over 5 days!) I warned her that jumping into a new relationship is risky - but shes sooo blind. This other guy lives far away and is known for using girls! It's hard to stand by and watch ur friend make stupid decisions over and over, especially when I've been in such similar situations - and i actually have learned the hard way. But meanwhile during all this, I am absoloutely heartbroken that I have lost one of my dear friends during all this, and it is her fault. Why couldn't she at least been civil about it? Well - anyway I was just wondering if anyone had ever been in such a situation -or have any words of wisdom. Thanks.

[Michelle03]

I think alot of girls come to this point when there younger. I know I did, and i learned the hard way. Well first of all, no matter what u tell her, she will still do what she wants to in the end, but u can try to help her see how these decisions are affecting her, or will affect her. I think u should talk to her and tell her that even though she might be having alot of fun she is hurting other ppl. Explain to her hoe u feel and about how u feel this new guy will treat he, but make sure u arent to pushy or harsh or she may get mad at u. Just let her know what she is doin and that u are worried for her. Let her know that u care about her and dont want her to get hurt. As for her ex, i think that u should still be able to be friends with him if u alwyas have, im sure he needs someone too. But maybe just call him to let him know u still want to be friends, but dont call and hang out with him too much at first. Let what happened with him and ur friend blow over a bit first. U should also let her know that u would like to maintain a friendship with him, but u dont want her to be mad, so just ask her how she feels about it so that she doesnt think u are doin it behind her back. I hope this helped a little, good luck with everything, dont stress to much!!