So I was at Starbuck's yesterday....

[al7]

Al.... Haven't you read a thing I wrote? I didn't approach him because I was scared!!! I didn't want to bug him! I didn't want him to think I was weird! In those two minutes standing next to him, waiting for my coffee, I wasn't thinking that he was picky or that he was overeager or anything.

 

Annie, I didn't mean you, I answer his eagerness specifically.

 

I honestly think you were not that much scared of bugging him, ok.

I beliefe you were much more scared to break a gender stereotype regarding who approch whom first.

I cannot say all 100% men would think it is so good. but even if some guys are so much rigidly into stereotypes, believe me, you do not want to deal with them.

So yes, I guess some polite comments about the weather from you would wake him up

Just I was not sure what you were asking specifically since we all know you would not be bugging him: you know that, we feel that way and I am very sure that guy would feel the same way: to answer you question specifically.

But we also have gender stereotypes...

[MetallicAguy]

If I were the guy I'd love for a girl to do that to me. It's so different for a change instead of having a girl check us out. It shows you have confidence and it makes you seem outgoing.

[annie24]

Al.... Haven't you read a thing I wrote? I didn't approach him because I was scared!!! I didn't want to bug him! I didn't want him to think I was weird! In those two minutes standing next to him, waiting for my coffee, I wasn't thinking that he was picky or that he was overeager or anything.

 

Annie, I didn't mean you, I answer his eagerness specifically.

 

I honestly think you were not that much scared of bugging him, ok.

I beliefe you were much more scared to break a gender stereotype regarding who approch whom first.

I cannot say all 100% men would think it is so good. but even if some guys are so much rigidly into stereotypes, believe me, you do not want to deal with them.

So yes, I guess some polite comments about the weather from you would wake him up

Just I was not sure what you were asking specifically since we all know you would not be bugging him: you know that, we feel that way and I am very sure that guy would feel the same way: to answer you question specifically.

But we also have gender stereotypes...

 

Al... It's not my gender stereotypes! I know I have some, but it's not it in this case! Here's a man, rubbing his eyes, yawning... at the time, he seemed more interested in shutting his eyes for a few minutes while waiting for coffee, than to be interrupted by a girl. Well, that's what I thought at the time. But, you all have convinced me that he would have probably liked a bit of cheerful banter before continuing onto work....

[MetallicAguy]

We wouldn't mind to chat unless A.) We're in a ****** mood or B.) we find you REALLY unattractive. Which most of the time is rarely the case.

[al7]

Al... It's not my gender stereotypes! I know I have some, but it's not it in this case! Here's a man, rubbing his eyes, yawning... at the time, he seemed more interested in shutting his eyes for a few minutes while waiting for coffee, than to be interrupted by a girl. Well, that's what I thought at the time. But, you all have convinced me that he would have probably liked a bit of cheerful banter before continuing onto work....

 

Ok, I'll try to believe it is not the gender stereotypes.

And I guess now I can understand you: you made a valid point: if a guy would bother me, tired already, with some sort of conversation I would just be unwilling to converse with him.

Probably you imagine that kind of situation.

 

But, since you are a woman and she is a guy, it is a very different situation. He will talk to you no matter what... even if he cannot speak

at all

Guy love women attention.

[annie24]

he he he... I bet this guy has NO CLUE we have devoted 53 posts to him! Hmmm... I wonder if there's a boy somewhere who is posting about me like that?

[al7]

he he he... I bet this guy has NO CLUE we have devoted 53 posts to him! Hmmm... I wonder if there's a boy somewhere who is posting about me like that?

 

Attention by itself is not that great: ok, there is a guy who is doing that... (not the guy) but you just not into him, for example cuz he doesn't look like any kind of mixture Vid Diesel\Pierce Brosnan\Bill Gates. You don't consider him attractive and it would not matter to you at all....

So attention is a tricky thing, it depends on who give it to us.

You are not happy with just "a boy".

If you are talking about the guy you met at Starbucks... well, since you notice he was handsomely cute, he is probably... taken already.

Is not it simple? He is cute -> people notice that -> other women notice that -> other women have done somehting already.

If he is handsome statistically speaking he has two gf or a wife with 3 kids already.

[Mun]

If you are talking about the guy you met at Starbucks... well, since you notice he was handsomely cute, he is probably... taken already.

Is not it simple? He is cute -> people notice that -> other women notice that -> other women have done somehting already.

If he is handsome statistically speaking he has two gf or a wife with 3 kids already.

 

Al7 if you think that way all the time you will never get anywhere. Part of life is risk and if you never risk you never gain. Try being optimistic for a change, it could do wonders for you and for your love life.

 

I think we have all given annie24 some good advice about the Starbucks guy... now she knows to give it a shot next time.

[al7]

Al7 if you think that way all the time you will never get anywhere. Part of life is risk and if you never risk you never gain. Try being optimistic for a change

 

I am very specific in what I say: approaching approchable women did not do any good in my experience of online dating: the more approachble she looks the more likely she won't respond. It is just experience I guess it even doesn't have anything to do with being optimistic or not...

You see, I have tried that, I have some experience (it is online only, but it is still qualify to be an experience, since I initiated the contact).

I am sure you do not have that kind of experience, since you are a woman and obviously do not approach guys.

You are right: risk. It is true, though it os more like gambling: you could be so optimistic about it and gamble all the time, but all know who is going to win. The same with approachable women: they are already taken mostly since they are approched all the time. Makes sense?

[annie24]

Al... I understand why you have gotten disheartened by the whole process. In the late 20s and 30s, everyone is pairing off. It seems that there are very few single people out there. What you have to keep in mind is that everyday, people break up! The divorce rate is about 50% in this country, and as evidenced by link removed, there are lots of people who are single and looking. You never know - you may just catch them when they are in between relationships.

 

Don't let it get you down about link removed. Just keep trying. You are not looking for 100 responses from 100 women. You're looking for your right person - you only need one! And, when the time is right, that person will appear (at least that's what I keep saying to myself...)

 

On another note, I was just walking home, and I looked at these 2 guys walking past me for like 2 seconds, and they came up to me and started joking around with me. (I, like other Americans, tend to avoid eye contact on the street, but now I think I may try opening up....)

[al7]

1. Annie, it is not exactly it. As you said there are alway some single people out there. Th thing is in your early 20s, no one require you to be establisehd or have megabucks.

Later on, you must have carrer, must have a great paying job.. otherwise most cute looking women even will not bother to to look at a guy.

 

2. Many divorced people are bitter and many have 2 kids already.

It is not fun to date them.

 

3. I guess you kno how it work: send 20 emails (which is a lot of work)

then get say 2 replies... one is quit another one is a girl of 300 lbs literally. Gotta start again from scratch...after some 5-10 such cycles.. I started thinking: dating is fun is not it? hahahaa

It is not like for women: wehn you have 100 applications\profiles in front of you and just need to chose who you are going to date.

In my case, if I email anyone who has a pic up, no way she would reply.

Twoo busy with checking other guys. and playing a blind date seems always end up with somebody who is extremely overweight.

I personally like girls with some curves, no skinny ones. But there is a coomon sense limit in gaining weight......

if you look at scales, and it says 200-300 lbs, something is wrong!

 

4. Cool, you can walk there? I forgot how to do it almost. We do not sidewalk or anything like that in most places.

What did they say? Just curiosu about good opening jokes

[GATSBY]

annie24

 

You will never know unless you take that step......so next time someone interests you....go for it!!! What is the worse that can happen?....a brief answer?...or maybe?