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What did I do?

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I used to be good friends with this girl. We would often go hiking or biking together in the woods behind her house. I was at her house often during the summertime, as we lived near each other, and both were quite bored ^_^. I recently began developing feelings for her, and I think it showed. Anyway, we were in a sort of pagent together (in reality, most of the school was in it, but we spent some time together during it). You know how you can get lost in thought, and kind of stare into space? Well, I was doing that one time when a group of us were outside cooling down. One of my 'friends' made a comment that I'd like to 'bone' her. I ignored it, as I usually do those type of comments. So did she, until another friend asked me if I heard what the other friend had said. I told him that I had, and apparently the girl in particular took it the wrong way. But, again, it was ignored. I explained things, and we were all well and good, until I started staring again, lost in thought. She took it as me staring at her, and walked off. For several months, she wouldn't say a word to me. Recently, she gave me a piece of gum (no big deal; she gave one to the person next to me, too) but that was more that I expected from her. And just a few days ago, she spoke to me, on her own. I'm hoping this is a sign that our friendship is improving, but it may not be. What do you think? Also, did I cause all this, and if I did, what did I do?

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your situation is pretty similiar to mine. I dont remember saying anything wrong at all but all of a sudden this girl ive known a while and like just wont talk to me, frusterating as hell, anyway i dont think you did anything and if you want, just ask her whats wrong

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Hi rvc,


First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that this young lady started to ignore you. I understand that you feel that it's your fault, because you thought you said something wrong.


My advice is that you take yourself into consideration in this. What SHE is going through, is HER problem to start with, not yours! She might or might not felt bad over what you said, but eventually SHE failed to communicate her feelings over what you might have said wrong. Personally I don't chase people like that. They will have to come to me first and if not, I reconsider the friendship I had with them. Why? Simply because the first thing I communicate to anyone I call friend, is: "Talk to me when you see something wrong. You can tell me anything!"


Communication leads to a better understanding. Dirtyharry is right: you might want to ask her what happened then and see how she feels now. May be you'll be able to heal and undo the wrong. I also suggest that you tell her to talk to you next time she feels hurt.


I wish you good luck and a bright future. The future is yours!


~ SwingFox ~

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I would talk to her, if it were possible. I've tried; she won't. I've even asked some of her friends (who, consequently, are my friends too), and they won't answer me. I believe they don't want to hurt me, so they won't tell me what she says. I'm over her now, but, I'd still like to be friends, or at least know why. Anyway, to you both, I thank you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Any girl who would blow you off over something so trivial as that is not worth your time. At the same time, she owes you no explaination, although one is always appreciated, and you should not waste another second with this girl trying to get one from her.


You say you are over it, then be over it and move on. Just let it go man. She's not worth it. And stop trying to be her friend. Stop trying to talk to her. Stop looking for "signs" that means she's forgiven you. She's a just an immature little doofus and you got better things to do. Hopefully.

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