He's not attracted to me??

[spanisheyes]

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. I am getting very frustrated because we have not had sex in over a week. A week and 2 days to be exact. And we usually only have sex once a week and very seldom twice a week and I always have to initiate it. I need more!

 

He keeps a busy schedule but there have been times where we have had a prime oppertunity but he has been too tired, or has had to study or wasn't feeling well. I feel like he doesn't want me.

 

Last night we were in the car and I mentioned I had a sexy dream about him and he didn't even want to hear about it.

 

We have amazing sex (when it does happen) and I KNOW I take good care of him and make sure he's satisfied.

 

We have been having a few problems lately with me not trusting him and wondering if he's cheating and the fact that he seems turned off by me just increases those feelings.

 

I want my man back. I need to be close to him that way and I need to know he still wants me. HELP!

[Iwanthim]

To me when guy doesn't want to hear about sexy dream of the girl he is seeing. There is something wrong. Not wanting to have sex. That usually means he is getting it somewhere else. Maybe he's been too stress but sex helps lol

[adidas7fire]

Yeah, I agree with the last reply. But be sure that you are able to talk your your boyfriend about your feelings... communication is the biggest key in any relationship and with you having feelings of him cheating and whatnot, it's not healthy for either one of you. Don't stress yourself out. Just ask him what's going on and if you are confident that it's not the sex that he's feeling down about, then don't fret it. It's probably something that doesn't even need worrying but just ask him. Creating things in your mind will just drive you crazy -- trust me, I know! Good luck!

[romantic sweetheart]

Hi there. I know how you are feeling--it is very troubling when it seems as though a special someone is not drawn to you sensually. It makes us feel confused and forlorn, rejected and anxious. Physical expressions of love and affection are crucial to our sense of well-being. Little babies die if they don't have touch!

 

It sounds like you and your sweetie do have a very intense physical bond. When men are preoccupied, depressed, worried, etc., sometimes they tend to withdraw from the ones they love the most. I think the best thing to do is lovingly talk about how you are feeling. Explain that you love the closeness you have with each other, and want to know how you can increase it. Ask your sweetie if there is anything he would like to talk about, if anything is bothering him. Tell him what you like about your passion...tell him that you would be thrilled if he were to initiate affection toward you.

 

I think everyone responds to praise, and it makes us feel more inclined to open up and reveal our true selves.

 

Your feelings are valid--and they deserve notice. Talking always helps sort things out. Kind and caring men are always willing to listen and work through things with you.

 

Sometimes people have different levels of sexuality. But adjustments can certainly be made--because love always saves the day! I believe that caring and understanding, patience and tenderness can increase desire.....gentleness toward each other, communication, respect.....all these things can help us understand one another.

 

It sounds like your sweetie just has a lot on his mind...distracted. It is very hard not to take this personally, I know. Talk with him, listen, ask him to listen to you......Have a romantic night out...a bubble bath, candles, music, sweet foods, wine....sweet kisses....no expectations.....just romance and closeness..and passion may just increase!

[marijo2480]

I agree. Be open and honest. Ask him what's going on and why he's not giving you any. Tell him how it makes you feel, as if he's not attracted to you anymore, etc. If he doesn't give you a straightforward response, ask him if he's seeing someone else. Put all the cards out on the table. If he's just tired/stressed with work, tell him that sex is a good stress reliever!! He he!! Good luck!

[Iwanthim]

You have to be open and honest. You two need to communication with each other. If not, what's the point of dating???

[Mun]

Tell him you want to feel close to him so you want more sex. Let him know that his rejecting you makes you feel crummy. If he blows you off--then you will know how he really feels. You need to make yourself a little vulnerable to see if he steps up to the plate. If he is a good guy he will apologize and explain what's been going on with him.

 

Also, trust him, maybe you are turning him off by being insecure and watching him so much. Be a little more self-assured, and let him come to you. It feels great to have a guy come after you instead of you having to initiate it... and hey if you are the one that has to intitiate it ALL the time--something is seriously wrong.