CONFUSED, what on earth does this mean?!

[helpneeded]

so things kind of ended at beginning of the month. but we know we still love each other. and we're good friends, so still been in contact. past 4 days, she's been having breakdown, over personal things. and i know she doesn't talk 2 anyone about it, but she at least talks 2 me about most of it. so we've been txting every nite till very extreme hours until she sleeps for a few hours and then start txting again. i've been sticking by, supporting her and reassuring her.

she even rang the nite b4 last. i know i cheer her up.

the 1st nite i said i'll go over and c her in the morning, she didn't say yes/no so i didn't. then at nite when she rang, she asked y i hadn't turned up so i said i don't know.

 

so yesterday, her being back at work, i assumed things would get better. she even emailed me from work to c how my day had been and told me 2 enjoy my evening. when i emailed back, i realised she wasn't in a gd state once again. however this time i asked wot happened......but perhaps it was cos she was at work, she didn't mention wot happened. so i didn't push on. again i said if u need anyone i can come and c u. no direct response again except 'thank u' so i didn't go.

 

after midnight she txted to say she just got home from seeing clients. and said she was depressed, i didn't ask wot was wrong cos i assumed i wouldn't get an answer. and she didn't call so i left it to her. she txted so i replied and told her 2 let me know how she feels in morning when she wakes up. then at half 2am, she txted to say 'nite' so obviously she was still thinking bout me.

i eventually txted when i knew she was asleep and said just give me a yes/no answer in the morning as 2 whether u want me 2 come and c u.

so this morning, she said 'no to ur question, not the right time. time i need 2 be on my own. love 2 c u sometime but not in these circumstances.' she even signed off with 'xxx' as opposed to the 'x' i usually get nowadays.

 

so i'm just confused........y would she not want 2 c me if she loves me so much? i wanted 2 c her solely as a friend. but each time we do c each other, something ends up happening, but its always her who makes the move, so i wouldn't just start kissing her or anything. i just want 2 make sure she's ok cos she just drinks and smokes when she's home from work.

does her txt mean its all over between us? usually she always wants 2 c me, so i'm not sure whether she really does just need time on her own or what?

cos when i'm depressed, its true to say i want 2 be on my own in my room, but i'd see my closest friends for a little while. so i don't understand what she wants.

 

obviously i replied that 'it's fine, i understand' but just want to know wot u think she's thinking. and where do i stand?

if she didn't care or want 2 hear from me, she shouldn't be txting or emailing or calling me......and now that i am helping her, with her saying 'thanks 4 caring 4 me....thanks 4 being here etc' she doesn't want 2 c me!

 

any responses from u guys would be nice, thanx!

[raggamuffin]

You are kidding yourself. You love eachother way too much to see eachother as friends. So if you are going to see her be honest with yourself.

 

I honestly think to sort this out you need to talk to her person to person.

 

Right now though in her state of mind or whatever I dont think you can do anything right so dont take anything too personally. If you dont see her it will be the wrong thing, if you do see her it will be the wrong thing.

 

I guess if you want to be there for her you are just going to have to ride this emotionally and confusing wave out.

 

Prehaps you should let her know that you are here for her but you are going "away" for a few days and wont be able to contact her. Maybe this may help clear your head. I know that this must be confusing for you so prehaps its best to take a step back for a little while.

[helpneeded]

thx 4 ur reply.....

she even sent me stuff for val day. but i didn't send her anything cos i thought it'd make we look like a total prat if we're just meant 2 be friends.

i didn't expect it and i'm shocked. but not complaining, lol.

 

i really can't get hold of her in person....last time we saw was xmas....and i can honestly say i don't know when possibly next cos she lives 100miles away and she works all the time.......

 

i can't just be away 4 a few days cos she knows i'm at uni!

she texts and e-mails whenever she can from work and when she gets home she calls.......

but it just really bugs me that she's still with the other woman. like last nite......it has been about 4 days without her mentioning her, but she had 2 stop emailing me for an hour or so cos her so-called partner was going 2 pop in 2 c her.

 

i can't help but feel emotional and frustrated when something like that happens, especially when things were going so well and picking up again.

[raggamuffin]

I think that for your own sanity you really do need to take a step back. I think you are being played here. You are being kept around prehaps just in case.

 

It is lovely that you still want to be friends and stay there for eachother but after a relationship breaks up the friends thing takes along time. For me personally we were not able to be "just friends" For about 2 years after the relationship ended. Unfortunately too many feelings get in the way of being friends until both people have moved on.

 

If you cant get hold of her in person find a time to call her and sort this out for once and for all. You deserve to know where you really do stand and move on with yourlife.

[helpneeded]

thx......

 

each time we talk and decide that our relationship is wrong, it only lasts a matter of an hour or day and then we end up back to square 1. yeah its pathetic i know.

 

but i think i may be ready to take a step back soon...

[cassiana]

I think that no matter how much someone loves someone, there are somethings that have to be gone through alone. Everyone has a core self that is just for them. Your ex is having a hard time. This is her time. Be there for her only as little or as much as she needs. When things get better and you reconcile there may be a time when she will return the favour. I know what it feels like when I feel so down that I don't want to talk to anyone even though I care for them. If someone tries to cajole you, it only makes things worse.