The mirror never smiles back..

[marolua]

I feel lost. I don't now what the problem is. everyhting seems to be fine, but isn't fine. I am tired of playing the " I am fine" game. Things are getting worser as I grow up, and I am not sure whether they will ever get better. I don't feel that the people i love are loving my unconditionally.

 

I am trying to do my best. Love myself, love others and smile to the mirror every morning.

 

But the mirror does not smile back.

 

I am constantly thinking of things that have happened in the past, knowing that I can't change anything. I think that if I can not correct my mistakes, I won't be able to have a better life. The problem is I never stop thinking about my mistakes in the past. I do them over and over again.

Is there anyone out there who hated to be herself, but gradually get over this.

I don't think that I can be happy with myself any more.

I need help. From where?

[PrincessLinzay]

Hey Marolua~

 

You truly are not alone. I used to be like that. Surrounded by people, yet alone. Constantly comforting and advising others, but never receiving that same support from someone else. Putting on the facade of control and satisfaction, when my insides were in turmoil and I just wanted blissful repreive. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I felt that no one cared what happened to me or how I felt, or even bothered to ask me.

 

I lived in the past, and everytime someone hurt me, I used that as ammunition to justify my feelings of insecurity. I felt like no one could possibly have it this bad, be this sad, or so cursed (I always felt like I was cursed)lol. I hated myself and everything around me.

 

It took me 5 years to get help, and that help came in the form of a psychiatrist. Turns out I had clinical depression. Ive since been medicated, and am thankful everyday that I finally asked for help.

 

This might not be the answer for you, but I've found that Im especially attuned to calls for help from people who remind me of myself. I know how it feels to be utterly miserable, and it tears at my heart strings to see anyone is such pain.

 

If you need someone to talk to, bounce ideas of, whatever, feel free to PM me.

 

Hang in there!

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I am also like this. I keep reheasing the mistake I have made again and again and again and again. I feel I have been punished enough (by myself) but I keep feeling guilty. Sometimes I begin to think about my accomplishments (ie. doing volunteer work, almost finishing university, remaining a virgin...)....If you need to, try making an actually written list of good things you have done.....

 

"The problem is I never stop thinking about my mistakes in the past. I do them over and over again.

Is there anyone out there who hated to be herself, but gradually get over this"