Do I tell her or let her find out for herself..?

[caramellabacix]

My friend Elle and I have been good friends for pretty much three years. During the summer we were practically unseperable. However, in September we got into a fight which led us to not speak to one another for three and a half months. Recently, about a month ago, we began to talk again after her family started asking her about me.

 

Well, since we've stopped talking I saw that her life pretty much became all that she has wanted it to be. She finally has a boyfriend, and hangs out with a new "crew" of about six girls who are all supposedly really good friends. I'm happy for her... except...

 

Yesterday I overheard some of her so-called "best friends" talking about her behind her back. One in particular was saying something like "That girl is so annoying, I'm not friends with her, I treat her like s**t!" They were going on saying some pretty mean things. I wanted to tell her last night, and asked her to find me after school today. She did, and I lied telling her I forgot what I wanted to say.

 

This is my question for you guys... Should I tell her? Or? What should I do? I feel like I should, but then I feel like she's finally happy, so why would I upset her like that? These girls are fair-weather friends, and I myself have never trusted them, but I also don't want them to find out if I told her (they don't mind threatening people, apparently.) Help!

[melrich]

I don't think I would tell her for two main reasons. First, the messenger does always tend to get shot. Second, unfortunately groups of friends to talk like this when one of the group is not around. They may not necessarily mean it in their hearts, it is a form of gossip.

 

I am not sure of the context you heard this in but for what it is worth I'd stay quiet about it for now. If the remark you overheard becomes a pattern then perhaps think about how you might address it.

[savannahohsavannah]

Ditto.

[lady00]

I'm going to have to disagree. As her friend, I think you have a right to tell her that her so-called friends are talking badly about her behind her back. If I were in her position, I would want my true friends to let me know if someone I was hanging out was saying bad things about me so I could stop wasting my time being "friends" with that person. Just my 2 cents.

[Sexychiick16]

I agree with the above...Real friends dont talk crap about others....i dont care No if ands or buts about it...Ive been oin this situation and switches my group of friends and thry are all real helping kind and dont talk about people at all really. I think friends should be people who bring u up and help ur self esteem not bring u down and make ur self esteem worse.

 

These girls are oviously using your friend and i think u should assure her about what these mean girls said...

 

goodluck

[savannahohsavannah]

It's interesting that the younger people on the board want to tell, and the older women don't. I still say it's too easy to make everyone mad, by telling. And they may not remember later why they were mad, just that they were angry at YOU.

[caramellabacix]

i considered asking her hypothetically... "if someone said something bad about you, would you want to know?" but then i thought... "yeah right, way to make it obvious..."

[Mr. B]

I probably wouldn'tjust 'tell straight out, although I wouldn't mind in the least mentioning it if it came up in conversation.