i cant get over him.

[deadheart2005]

hello, my name is blair and my boyfriend and i ended our 3 year relationship about 2 months ago. i was doing fine for awhile but i recently have been thinking alot about him and cant stop. We broke up when i found out he had been seeing someone behind my back for 3

months, but i still love him so much. His parents dont like me and my parents dont care for him too much either but i dont think that should get in the way if you really love someone. i recently found out that he is seeing someone and is kills me inside to the point where suicide seems like a really good option but i cant because i know it would kill my mother. He and i had been through so much together, more than what a married couple would go through. we had so much in common and sharded so many of the same interests. what can i do to get over him? How do i move on? If you have any tips please ket me know. thank you so much.

[in_the_mirror]

i know the feeling, you guys were together for a long time. its normal though to be fine right after a breakup and also normal to be upset after awhile. i suggest either trying to find just someone to occupy your time, not a new b/f or anything, but a guy friend, cuz g/f have a tendency of saying things that get upseting after awhile. i know cuz i have been there and done that. ice cream is good lol. but just keep yourself busy. you have plenty of options, but suicide is final, im glad you realize the consequenses. well i hope things work out for you.

[From_Now_On]

Blair,

 

First of all: Welcome to Enotalone. I'm sorry to hear that things went sour. It's especially hard when you are so close to someone...when you go through so much together and then you fall and you wonder how you could ever possibly fall apart after all you went through together. A 3 year relationship is not something you can just blink and forget. And it sounds like you really cared about him. That's more than a little evident in your post. Suicide might seem like the only comprehendable answer right now...because you are just so lost and broken. But it's not the answer. I'm sure even more than just your mother would be killed by it. You have to keep in mind that there is no cure-all. It will take some time. I wouldn't hold out for him though, even though it may be a temptation to...because he cheated on you. You don't need that and you don't deserve that. Focus on yourself now and try to keep yourself busy. Maybe you aren't ready to try the whole "single and looking" scene just yet (which is understandable)...but I would suggest hanging out with friends. Find things you really enjoy that you like to do. Perhaps there were things you liked to do that being with your boyfriend you were restrained from doing more often than not. Try not to focus on his "good" aspects. The truth is, he's not worth it if he can cheat on you behind your back like that. And for three months? No. We always want to make excuses for the people we care about...and I'm not saying you have to "hate" him...but don't put up a fight inside yourself defending what he did. Do your best to not think about it. It's all so much easier to say then do, I know. But you have to try. I wish you the best of luck and I hope I was some help. Feel free to PM me if you ever need.

 

Take Care

[superdeb]

Hi

 

I have the same problem, in that I can't get over my ex. Thing is, we weren't together very long, only 2 months, but he's all I've been able to think of since we broke up. I have some ideas of why I'm stuck in this place, and they are that we haven't seen each other since we broke up - he broke up with me over the internet, I never got any closure or a real goodbye. Some hurtful things were said by both of us and we didn't speak for a month. I then started chatting to him on the net and things were comfy, but there were always those questions I had inside me, but I didn't wanna scare him off. About a week later I told him I was movign out of town and would he like to meet up for a drink but he didn't seem to want to. I didn't know why, but he said he didn't know how he felt about seeing me again. I was really hurt and said I wanted to be friends. He said he doesn't believe people can be friends once they've had a relationship together, which didn't make any sense to me, especially since it wasn't very long.

 

I got very emotional, he refused to talk to me any further and I ended up sending him an email with all my feelings and told him to get his head out of his arse. It probably didn't go down too well as he never replied and we've not spoken since.

 

I've been desperately trying to get over him, get over the urges of contacting him, but it's getting worse, and honestly I want him back in my life so badly. All I find myself doing is thinking of ways to get him back, to win back his trust...and it probab;y not healthy, but I am in love with him as a person and I don't want to just phase him out my life.

 

Please help?

[cassiana]

I empathise. I dated my ex for only 3 months. That was 9 months ago. I have dated five guys since. one for 2 months, one for three but its that first guy I miss. I used to be raw, in shock raw and now im just very very tender. So i know I will get over it but it will take years. I'm trying so hard though and you must do the same. I mean if I got him back wouldn't he just break my heart allover again. I'm more important than him. You are more important than your exes.

[katiekate1982]

Hey Blair,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your break up, My boyfriend also cheated on me, this is after i moved to florida with him and started a life, it's soo hard.

 

Believe me you WILL get through this it will take time, alot of time with your friends and family, and unfortunatlly some crying.

 

It just happened to me about 3 weeks ago, and now i'm back in wisconsin, and am lucky enough to have a good support system, as i'm sure you do too.

 

If you ever need to talk or anything, i'm here for you!

 

Remember as hard as this is to hear right now, NO guy is ever worth hurting yourself for.

 

Sorry I wrote sooo much, I hope it helps.

 

Take care of yourself, Katie