My friend is annoyed with me but not sure why :/

[catching zzz]

So I’m friends with a girl who I’ve been friends with for the last 6 years. As friends we are very close. But then about a month ago she got really ill with cold/flu (I mean really bad like basically dead) and understandably she was a bit extra cranky. So I just helped her out with getting things done really as well as getting drinks/tissues ect which she appreciated

She got over it but since getting over it she seems to strongly dislike me/get annoyed with me (everyone else she is normal now just me). When before she would always talk to me now she ignores me and if she does reply give very quick short answers then continue to ignore me. And when around her I feel very much I’m not welcomed, general glaring at me and constant on edge/unease feeling, and she gets annoyed at me over nothing. Like earlier in the week I was down at lunch with everyone and I went to talk to one of our other friends who was sitting next to her and she yelled at me to stop looking at her when I wasn’t looking at her before….

After that I thought it would be best to give her space so been avoiding everyone. I then get told by one of my friends she’s confused to why I haven’t seen her most of the week so figured she must been over it so went down at lunch… nothing changed so I’ve just avoided everyone to keep out of her way.

Any suggestions? can’t think of anything I’ve done to annoy her. She normally isn’t like this, sometimes does get irritated but even then its when she’s Ill/something else going on and apologises after a couple of days. Anything I can do or just give her space?

cheers

[catfeeder]

Are you male or female, and do you live with this girl?

 

I'd give her space, and I'd consider reducing her to an acquaintance rather than viewing her as a 'friend,' because no real friend would mistreat you.

 

I would also not withdraw from anyone else who really IS a friend, because this girl owns no right to them as her territory.

 

I would not discuss her with anyone, because that sets you up for misinterpretation and misrepresentation. Third parties, no matter how well-meaning, can make matters worse, not better. There are pot-stirrers in every crowd, and you can't always tell who they are until they burn you. They thrive on discontent between others and can alter the content of what you say, which can move the girl from an annoyance to an enemy. So skip third party discussions.

 

Stay away from the girl, see your other friends away from her, and if the girl ever gets over herself and attempts to act 'normal' around you again--most likely when she wants something from you--be kind, but don't allow her to get away with this. That's your opening to ask why she's mistreated you, and if she says, "I don't know," tell her that's not good enough because if it "just happened for no reason," then it's not something either of you can prevent from "just happening" again, and you're not willing to set yourself up for that. She's welcome to come back and speak with you if she's willing to offer you some degree of understanding about what went wrong, and why she singled you out for mistreatment.

 

From there you can decide whether she had a valid point or whether she owes you an apology--but either way, she owes you an apology for the way she spoke to you in front of others.

 

Chances are, she's either self-centered and took your kindness during her illness for granted and started to feel smothered by it--and she's coming out sideways on you inappropriately, and that's her problem. OR, she somehow misunderstood something about your behavior as territorial or intrusive. If that's the case, she can either come clean and work this out with you, or not. The degree to which she's willing to do that should determine your degree of involvement with her going forward.

 

Write more if it helps, and head high.