can i ever get over this?

[mofobuziness]

ok this is probably going to be long thank you in advance!

ok so in high school I met this amazing guy he loved me he was the most amazing guy I have ever met and he treated me better than anyone ever did. fast forward I am about to graduate and I have all of these people telling me they see him with this girl at the mall other shops and Walmart and pretty much everywhere. I noted it off saying it was probably just a friend he would never do it to me. I didn't say anything. fast forward I hear people saying stuff about this girl and it just keeps getting brought up no matter who it is people I didn't even know were telling me the same thing about a blonde girl. I bring it up he denies it. shocking right? anyway I put it off thinking just high school drama. months went by he said he wanted space so I gave it to him. no talking or anything for 3 weeks he calls me and I break up with him I saw the two together kissing pictures on Facebook. the only reason he wanted to be with me was because she left him for another guy. karma. fast forward I go back to him after at least six months. we graduated early we worked together lived together everything. I get pregnant have our first child still couldn't trust him I don't know why to this day I went back but im glad I did or else I wouldn't have my amazing children. I thought he was cheating all of the time. fast forward we had another baby after all these years 4 exactly from him cheating I want to get over it. I cant because stuff pops into my head he was my first love my first everything. hes so sweet and amazing but I still think hes going to strip clubs and cheating because his friends do and he gets pressured into doing stuff because he doesn't know when to say no I guess. I cannot get over this I want to get over it but every time I do he breaks my trust all over again then is really good about everything then start t trust him he messes up again. I tried asking to go to counseling but he never gets time off of work to go he said he would but he literally works all of the time. how can I stop thinking about him if hes cheating? also he lies a lot and I didn't realize it until everything came out to this day he denies cheating on me even though I have seen it and confronted him when I saw them together. please I really don't want to be judged or any mean things said I just want advice or past experiences that could help... thank you so much!

[western]

if you were here reading what you wrote as a third party, what advice would you give the poster ? There in you will find your answer.

[Lexy83]

First of all, why are you still defending him? His friends didn't make him cheat, he cheated because he wanted to. Period.

Second of all, why on earth did you decide to have children with him, knowing that he was a cheater and a liar and constantly breaking your trust? He even did it in front of everyone, that's how much he cared about you. And how do you know he is working all the time? He surely found the time to cheat...

Sorry if I am harsh, but i'm only being honest. If he doesn't want to go to therapy with you, then go on your own. Maybe it will help you see why are you tolerating his behaviour and why are you not putting yourself and your needs first.

Wishing you all the best...

[tae25]

Wow..this sounds like my situation...im also trying to leave my lying and cheating bf but to no avail.