Fear of the Unknown

[change4better1]

After a few short days of my breakup I go through these feelings of uncertainty about my future. My thoughts in my mind are overwhelming.

 

thoughts that I believe we all go through. Well they ever contact us. when will these hurtful feelings end. should I go out and find a rebound, is she thinking of me, is she hurting as much as I am, all these creazy thoughts.

 

The fact of the matter is *and i speak for myself here* I need to focus more in the here and now rather than thinking of what might or might not happen tomorrow. and i also need to not dwell on the past as it will never change for what it was.

 

Focus on today the now the here and all will fall in place .

 

~NewLIfe

[AaronSG]

First off just breath, take a nice long inhale of some fresh air and know that what your going through is 100% normal! Your just a couple days out from being in your former relationship, for me, at the couple day mark of being out of my serious relationship the world was upside down! Full of "second guessing" and 'worry" and "doubts" and "is she thinking about me" and "is she hurting as much as I am" or "is she regretting her choice to leave" ect. ect. ect. in the end, what your going through at this stage of the game is normal.

 

As far as the question "will they ever contact me again"? Don't worry so much about that! Put that thought as best you can out of your mind and move on! Your now on the verge of turning the page and starting a new life's chapter for yourself, contact with an ex, on any level will only set you back. Right now is not the time to be hearing from an old flame, right now you need to concentrate and focus your mind on you and you alone! I know it's hard to think about, not taking to you ex and all, heck I'm close to 3 months since my ex-faince walked out my front door for the last time, boarded a plane and flew back home to Ohio. Even close to my 3 months mark, I still sometimes think it would be nice to talk to my ex, but I know, like I advised you, that it will only set me back and might take my recovery back to "square one"! I would strongly recommend that you put the idea of talking with your ex out of your mind and go strict "no contact"!

 

1. No phone calls

 

2. No Instagram

 

3. No snap-chat

 

4. No Facebook

 

5. No You Tubing each other channels

 

6. No asking common friends about each other

 

7. No busting out the old photo's and remembering fonder days

 

8. No writing of letter and snail mailing it to the ex

 

9. No e-mails

 

10. No text's

 

11. No nothing!!!!!

 

Just leave it alone, it's better this way! As the old pun goes "ignorance is bliss"! Plus you've got you to focus on, you've got yourself to take care of ect. ect. ect. For me the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing is helping my recovery. It feels good now a days to not know what my ex-faince is up to by various means of communication or social media. It helps me move along and not be hurt by what I might see or what I might not see, it just helps!

 

Things for us, you and me, will get better, we will see brighter days, the sad songs playing in our heads will one day turn into happy songs, full of hope and promise! And I'll leave you with this......I'm actually starting to kind of enjoy being alone again, I've indulged myself into being a bit selfish and self centered, but not in a bad way, but rather I can now eat what I want to eat, go where I want to go, see who I want to see, buy what I want to buy, game when I want to game, listen to music that I want to listen to, watch movies that I want to watch, visit who I want to visit with, have a beer when I want to have a beer and so forth! being alone I'm slowly re-learning has it's rewards, but the biggest reward, and you won't think this way at the moment, but the biggest reward............"not having to deal with the drama and the tension of a possible toxic or failing relationship"!

 

Stay strong, talk with people, friends and family, get out into the world, don't turn into a seclusive hermit, meet new people, join some support groups, perhaps seek out professional help, whatever it takes to get better.......seek it out!