Inconceivable Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 I'm afraid to make new friends. Everytime I have a new friend to hang out with, I somehow wind up excluding a friend I already have. I never mean to do it, it just winds up happening. This has come to the point where I'm afraid to make new friends because I don't want to cause any of the friends I already have the pain of me excluding them. I've already lost 3 great friends because of this, and one friend was kind enough forgive me. One girl who I did this to wound up trying to commit suicide because I was the only person who would be her friend, and I wound up excluding her. I don't EVER want that to happen, because even though she is mad at me, I love her so much and I feel so bad. I'm also afraid that I may have to break up with my boyfriend because I think this may be happening again with one of my other friends. I don't mean to do this, it just happens! I feel incredibly guilty and I want all of this to stop! Please help me! Link to comment
fmfisdead Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Hey, I'm not sure what you mean by excluding your friends? So one night you decide to hang out with another friend and your friend feels excluded? I dont know, but this sort of thing isnt supposed to happen, its not right. And honestly, you should be able to hang out with all of your friends together collectively. And if that girl tried to kill herself over you, its not your fault one bit, if shes so unstable that you not hanging out with her drew her to kill herself, then its sad to say that it would have probably happened anyways. If its not a cry for help. I just had a friend try to commit suicide last week actually, and its really stupid and lame. You should never feel at fault for something that she decided to do on her own, because I've been there before. Whenever I'm hanging out with friends I try to bring all of my friends together, possibly have them meet new people and gain yet another friend. It usually works out just fine, I guess I'm not getting something crucial here....I'm trying to help but it doesnt make sense. So I guess I hope this helped. Link to comment
Inconceivable Posted January 5, 2005 Author Share Posted January 5, 2005 I'm not sure what you mean by excluding your friends? Like, I stop haning out with them...last year, it got really bad. I got 4 new friends, and I just stopped hanging out with two of my friends. Like, we said Hi to each other in the hall, but that was about the extent of our comversations. It's like whenever I make a new friend, I become ex-friends with someone I'm already friends with. Whenever I'm hanging out with friends I try to bring all of my friends together, possibly have them meet new people and gain yet another friend. My problem is that not all my friends exactly...get along, I guess is a nice way of putting it. They don't really like each other. They belong to different cliques, I guess you could say. All my friends like me great, but a lot of them don't get along with each other. Link to comment
fmfisdead Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Well try to make time for all of them if you can, but if they are getting angry because you hang out with a friend of yours that they dont like than I believe that this is their problem and not something you should be concerned with. If they are going to end your friendship just because you hung out with a person they didnt like, first of all they have jealousy issues, and next, are they really worth being friends with? I mean, how can a friend get mad at you for having a friend? I just think thats stupid and thats not something I would ever ask of my friends if I got in a fight with another person. Try to not totally focus all of your energies just on one or two friends, unless thats what you want to do. If you want to hang out with all of your friends, do so, and if they get mad at you for it, it is their problem, so dont just stick by the side of one friend. Not sure if this helps, I feel like im rambling. Link to comment
helpme145 Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 you should try getting all your friends together, than maybe they'll be friends and you can all hang out at the same time. That should work because, in my experience, everyone can be friends if you try Link to comment
SarCareBear Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 i know sorta how you feel. here's my advice, copped straight out of the Girl Scout Handbook (yeah I was one of those for about 5 years when i was younger) - "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold". this saying always applies... for every night you spend hanging out with a new friend, maybe put in a half hour phone call to the old! and vice versa. even if you're not hanging out with certain friends all the time you can definitly I/M them and call them whenever, and most importantly update them on your lives and hear about theirs. i know from experience that friends can all exist in thousands of seemingly distant stratospheres and it IS possible to remain friends with them all, but if you ever feel like two of them would click definitly try hanging out 3 of you. Link to comment
Alabama Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 That can happen in life. You have some close friends and many friends who just say 'hi' to. I have at least 100 friends, but only about 10 close ones. I wouldn't worry about it and enjoy the friends you have. If you want to, maybe throw a party and invite your old friends. Good luck! Link to comment
shuntaro603 Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 you should try getting all your friends together, than maybe they'll be friends and you can all hang out at the same time. I agree. You should try that. That's what I do. But sadly I don' t have many close friends who actually hang out with me. We just say "hi" when we see each other or sit with each other during lunch in school. LOL Link to comment
SaSaRai Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 lol yeah, i have a lot of friends but maybe 4 close friends, but i know how you feel about excluding. Imagine being that other person.... best and true friends are 2 people who think that their best friend (the other person) is the best out there and they couldnt get anyone any better and vice versa. Really, if you've ever been in a real tight friendship its true. anyways, imagine you are that girl and you are really the only thing that she has and feels good about. When you start hanging out with someone else... it puts fear in her heart that shes going to lose you and have nothing. I used to be in that posistion and let things just glide by... the next thing i know i compeltely lose that friend because they are hooked on eachother. Its as painful as a breakup .... sometimes worse, depending on how deep you are in the relationship.... hope you understand me. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now