I think I love her....

[Josh G.]

OK, before I get into this, Im just gonna tell you, I was the most skeptical person, about highschool relationships, whenever somebody would say anything about love, I would kind of laugh to myself, and think how ridiculous it was. I always believed that love is an emotion that 2 people have to feel together for it to actually be love. But.... Now i feel kinda weird, Because, I havnt been going out with gf for a long time, but I think I love her, And even though she is kinda shy, and we go very very slow with things, I think that she may feel the same, but Im not going to jump to conclusions. There isnt anyone, or anything in the world that I think more about, Im not exagerating here, I think about her all day long. It used to be all I ever thought about was my car, it was all I ever talked about too, But I dont even care out my car anymore, I havnt even worked on it for a long time. People always used to say, Im a nice guy, but I NEVER smile, When ever I see her I smile like crazy, No matter what kind of mood Im in, she instantly makes me happier than anyone else in the world, And when Im not with her or talking to her, I feel really lonely, I would honestly do anything for her, and I want her to be happy no matter what, even if its not with me (as long as it is someone who will respect her and treat her right). what I want to know, if this really is love, or should I start thinking the way I did before, and shoudl I tell her How i feel, or is it way too early ( I think it might be, but would a girl want to hear it?) Thanks for anyhelp.

[striderhiryu81]

Be careful with this one...

 

You don't want to scare her away for one thing. For another, you wouldn't want to come accross as depending on her for your happiness. I gaurantee that one of the things that attracted her to you was your independence, your love for your car, and your confidence. Don't throw that out the window!

 

Girls will try and try to get us guys to say " I love you" and to open up our heart to them, and that is half of what attracts them to us... the fact that we are not to be taken for granted. The instant that she knows that you will do ANYTHING for her and that she already has your UNCONDITIONAL love, then she will begin to lose interest. The flirting will stop and it will just become mushyness. Don't show her that side of you. Well, at least not all the time. Make her work for it! I did that with my ex and she got all mushy towards me and sure enough I began to lose interest. I still loved her but I lost my dependence on her to feel good about myself. I took her for granted, and the more I did it, the more in love with me she fell!

 

I'm not saying that these things are bad things, but try to be a bit of a mysterious guy to her. Every once in a while come up behind her and put your arms around her waist(kind of like a hug but from behind). Tell her she smells great if she is wearing her perfume, and grab her hand if you are walking in the mall together. She will appreciate these things if you do them only every once in a while because its not like a routine or anything. You know how they say girls love surprises? Thats what they are talking about.

 

Be mysterious and spontaneous (like I described above) and she will always be on her toes for you. If you want to tell her about your feelings, I would wait for her to mention it. It is okay for you to show it though by doing what I said up there. Main point: DON'T COME ON TOO STRONG, TOO SOON or she WILL lose interest.

[roo1oo]

I don't agree with striderhiryu81's post. While for some men it works to be mysterous, it's best to just be completely honest and yourself. Be spontaneous. That doesn't mean you should tell her now that you love her, because I have no idea how long you've been together. If it hasnt been that long, as in less than two months, I'd wait a bit longer and see how your relationship progresses. But during this time, be nothing but yourself. Don't be afraid to do everything you can for her, but don't forget that you're own, independent life is very important to you. Working on your car is important. If you plan to take time to work on your car, and she suddenly calls you up and asks what your up to, be honest and say that your working on your car, and would love to see her later but are in the middle of something important. If she respects you, she'll respect your independence. What I'm saying is don't devote your ENTIRE life to her, but do devote what you want to. Its a bond between the two of you, and you should both give, and both bend some. And nothing is worse than two years down the road, whether your together or not, realising that either you have no friends and no one to hang out wit when she's out of town, or no hobby to keep up with when she'ss busy with something of her own. Every person needs their individual life.

 

So I guess I agree with striderhiryu's post in idea, but not in his suggestions on how to deliver it. It's all about continuing to be yourself. Don't say anything that isnt you. Don't ever say you like a band jhust because she does, especially when you dont like the band.

 

Hope everything works out for you!

[striderhiryu81]

Good post roo1oo,

 

I agree with the way you said it at the end. You agree with the idea but not the method of delivery haha. I see what he was getting at. You should never try to be something you are not. I guess I emphasized hiding the emotion too much and roo1oo is definitely right, that could come accross as being dishonest.

[MysteryBeauty]

True love is wanting someone to be happy even if you are not in the picture 8) ..and loving someone without expecting anything in return..so what you feel for this girl is obviously true love. Girls LOVE to hear a guy tell them "I love you", but since this girl is shy.. she might not show she cares or appreciates your feelings even if she really does inside. Don't be offended if she doesnt show how she feels.Most likely she does feel the same way but is too scared to show it. You should go up to her and tell her how you feel..Don't worry about the future or her reactions..sometimes things in life should be spontaneous..because most of the time if you think through EVERYTHING you won't get anywhere.. 8)

 

"It's better to love and hurt, then not loving at all"

"never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" 8)