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I would extremely appriciate some help here

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Wow, never thought I'd be posting here huh?


Well... I have a slight perdicament, and no, it's not that I'm turning gay, it's that I'm thinking about going bi.


I should start from the beggining.


It started just tonight when I was on the phone with my girlfriend, and I got her to tell me something her and her cousin were talking about. She had a fantasy about me and her with another guy there, me being bi of course. I think you know where this is going, she said that after she had the thought she tried not to think too much on it anymore since she knew I wasn't like that; that's what got me thinking, "What if I was bi?" I am seriously taking time to consider this and it could take months for me to come to a final descision.


There are reasons I should be bi:


1. My girlfriend wouldn't have any problem, hell, she'd love it.


2.It's an exploration kinda thing.


3. Maybe it's not so bad after all.


And then there are reasons I shouldn't:


1. I'm used to being straight.


2. It would take a while to get used to.


3. Where the hell would I find people like that, my school is lacking in this department.


Don't get me wrong, me and my girlfriend love each other very much and it's not just kinkyfied relationship. And don't worry, the whole time I've been typing this I've had a smile for how sudden this is.


What I want to know are the answers to these questions:


Why did these thoughts surface?

Why am I so suddenly considering being bi with my girlfriend?

How the HELL am I gonna break this to my parents?

And why from all this time being straight and only trying out the girls of the pack, did this happen?


If I get a response then I would like to thank you for taking your time to read this.

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whoa, ok, just b/c you find 3somes arousing DOESNT MEAN YOURE BI. & 2 you are 15 years old, is it just me or should 15 yr olds not be having sex????? ANYWAY! situations like this come about & need to be dealt with when people fully understand who they are. she has no idea your 'bi' but in reality neither do you. id stay away from any of this, until you figured yourself out a little better. and also if a girl wants a 3 some w/ 2 guys, that doesnt necessarily mean she thinks 2 guys going at it having sex with EACHOTHER is sexy, SHE may want the attention from the 2 guys. it scares me that kids this young are having these discussions, when i was 15 (6 yrs ago!) we used to talk about music & crushes! IMAGINE THAT!



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Kdon't worry, If you were BI, you would know it. I think you are just testing the waters a bit.


I did the same thing. My BF at the time had a fantasy about me, him and another girl. His Ex organised the other girls for them, so he wanted the same for us. I was a bit sceptical at first, eventually he paid sombody, but when we went to the room, he just couldn't do it (neither could I). BUT, I did have my very best friend, and we shared a lot of secrets. I thought, If I had to do it, it would have to be with somoene I trusted, so I told her about the fantasy, she got exited... and it happened. It happened about 3 times. I have to be honest I enjoyed it TREMENDOUSLY, but I could never do it with another girl, unless I had INSTANT attraction to her. I never had attraction to other girls to that extent again, even though I enjoyed my friend, and found nothing wrong with it. It was sexually exiting.


I think you are at the same place girl. It is no big decision, you don't have to anounce it to the world, try it, see if you like it, and if you don't, well, then move on. If you do, then think about what the future might hold. Being BI is not something you decide up front.



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DragonGirl, let me explain first off, I don't plan to have sex 'till after I turn 18, everyone on this forum should know that thouroughly by now.


And maybe I should have explained better, she described the fantasy to me and I found it arousing, not just because it's a threesome but because of the guy. If I was just 'testing the waters' I would know it. I've been checking out guys for a while now and it just happened to snap inside my head when my g/f mentioned that.


I am backing off for a while to see if this cools down, but that doesn't mean it'll change anything. Thanks for your posts.

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I knew I liked boy and girls when I was young too, and that is confusing, and thinking about sex makes it even more. thats great you are waiting till your 18. I recommend to give yourself some space from relationships, and meditate on yourself and your life. I started to write and draw, if your noy into joing stuff in school, do outside stuff, or do what i did, work part time after school and summer. You will see every year that passes by you are becoming more mature, your young and you got alot of years to come. I know you probablyhate when older people tell you that, I hated that too, but trust me, 3 years from now, you will be thinking differently, and will be better to make your decisions, especially about yourself. When you know you know! welcome to life! And if you happen to "to do it" before your 18, you know thing happen, and still are confused, keep posting, it seems that there are more people out there feeling or felt the way you do! like the sit says, NOT ALONE! good luck

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I said before, if this is true I'm not afraid of it, and if nothing changes then what the heck, you know?


And I've been writing novels since I was twelve. If it hadn't been for me knowing about this stuff before I figured it out then I would've been most freaked out by this revelation. It's still pretty strange to figure stuff like this out, but I can handle it better than most teenagers.


Due to my school's attending students I'm keeping it on the down-low and only my closest friends know about it. My g/f still has yet to know since I only have about an hour on my calling card left, and I'm waiting for her to call me.


She won't mind, as said before she'll probably love it, I just don't know how to bring this up to her. I can't just say, "I might be bi."



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Oh, and cosqui, I'm not distancing from my girlfriend just because a discovery such as this. Why should I distance myself from her when I know I'm gonna be able to handle this, and besides, if it weren't for her then I wouldn't exactly be this calm right now. I can't just take out a relationship like I have with her, no matter how confused I get and no matter what the situation I can't just step off from the plate, she's too good to me and I'll always love her, hope you understand why I'm not following that tidbit of your advice corqui, and thanks for the post by the way.

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i did not mean to get away from every one and everything, i do believe you always need a friend, and if your girlfriend is that persona, good for you, I was just saying that, dont put to much mind on this, go with the flow, and when you need to talk about your feelings, look for you friend...know what I mean jellybean. Like I said, your young, your right, i dont know you, true some teenagers are more mature than others, if you thought I said you were immature, that was not my message, live day by day and try not to stress little things. When the time comes it comes, and about telling your family if you find out you are, well I was in the closet until August of this year, I was really afraid, especially of rejection. But that was a whole other story!

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