Should i get help? Why do i torment myself like this?

[Warhawk]

Ok, i started hangin out with this girl about five months ago, and from there, we became best friends. I had no feelings for her in a way more than friends at the beginning, but that changed after about 2 months of getting to know her. Now, i have the strongest feelings ive ever had for another person ever. Only trouble is....she has a boyfriend and he's away at college. I mean dont get me wrong here, she isnt cheating or anything, but we do almost everything together, go to movies in the theater, watch movies in my basement, etc. Ive become so attached to her, that it makes me cry to think about next year in school (she is a senior and im a junior) without her. I seriously think that im in love with her, as id like her all the same whether she was how she is now, or had physical problems. I would seriously take a bullet for this girl. Even though it may be wrong, i cant help myself. We have talked about it openly, she knows that i like her, but i doubt she knows that its this deep. It's so unbelievably painful to think that i won't be able to spend the rest of my life with her, and that after about 9 more months, she will be gone. I would try to shut her out of my life, but thats almost impossible as we sit together in classes and are with eachother all the time. On top of that, it would be way to painful for her AND for me, for her because im pretty much all she has here. I get extremely depressed over this and cry about it often, even though im a guy. I guess im totally lost, hopeless, and pathetic for this happening to a girl that has a boyfriend let alone at all. Anything helpful at all would be greatly appreciated

[Kaspa]

Well couple things you can do. First one won't nessecarly be what you want but its prolly the most right to do. Is that you just be her best friend and appreciate her in that way, with out having to do any sexual things. You cant too greedy man. Like if she really really likes her boy friend, then you shoudl be happy with her and just spend time with her. But if she doesnt even like him that much and you guys talk about it, then you might be able to switch her off him and onto you. It depends ont eh sitaution with them and how you wanna affect your relationship. Because once you do things like have sex, things dont go back to normal. and if you ever split up or sumthin, then u wont be friends any more. So you have to think about whats best for her, you, and the 2 of you together.

[brimstone]

Ok...

 

I am in no way an expert on this so this is not advice but, it is simply what I have been taught.

 

You are in the friend zone with this girl. If you and her have been friends for 3 to 6 weeks, you might have a way to get her to see you in a different light. However, if you have been friends longer then that, it is going to be very very dificult to get her to see you the way you want her to see you. I know you see a lot of tv shows where you see people who have been friends for years start falling for each other but...seldom is this reality.

 

She has a boyfriend... I know you think you love her...You need to wait until the boyfriend is no longer the boyfriend.

 

Also concider this...Lets say you and her do get together romanticly. She just cheated on her boyfriend who she is supost to be honest and fathful to. Now, are you ever really going to trust her knowing she cheats?

 

Oh... and one more thing. On month 9 and she is getting ready to leave, tell her how you feel compleatly. I don't think it will make her stay, but at least you will know that you did all you could. If you don't tell her you may reach back in your file on a regular basis and wonder if you had told her how you feel she would have stayed...

 

Goodluck

[Alabama]

It can be hard, especially if the girl you like already has someone. Continue to be friends with her, and try to enjoy her company. It can be hard to forget all the pain you've suffered, which I've felt too, but you have to try. Otherwise, you won't be able to enjoy life. If you need any more help, just PM me. Good luck!