Why?

[Tina smith]

I guess Im still a little confused about my situation.

Ever since my boyfriend broke up with me for his ex (other than our talks about the break up and getting our stuff back) I havent talked to him. I havent heard a thing about him, although I told everyone not to mention anything about him to me ever. Not even if hes walking down the street.....Id rather imagine he doesnt exist anymore.

 

So its been 2 weeks and 3 days since the breakup. I never really thought hed call, or Id see him, because Im avoding any place hed be until Im healed a bit, but Its weird. Hed call me a thousand times a day. In the morning, at lunch and at night 40 times if we wernt together, which most of the time we'd be together. So every morning I wake up and realize he didnt call and get this awful feeling. Im doing way better than a week ago, but it still really hurts.

 

I dont understand how this could be happeneing. I mean, how can the world work this way? How can he hurt me more than Ive ever been hurt in my life and just move on with her like nothing happened? How can he just brush off the past 7 months of his life with me like it never happened? How can he get what he wants in the end and I have to suffer with the pain?

Why does this stuff happen? Its really weird, I have this strong feeling that its not going to work out for him in the end and hes going to end up alone, but Im trying to imagine that it will work out. That everything will work out between them. It forces me to move on. But who knows. Maybe it will work out. Maybe it will be them together in the end and me alone. I know I dont deserve this. I was nothing but good to him (and believe it or not, he was nothing but perfect to me until the day he told me all this....thats why I was and still am in shock) I hate that something that felt so right is wrong.

 

I miss him a ton, but Im getting use to my life without him. Its not like Im really living my life.....more like trying to get through the day. Knowing that in 3 months, maybe I wont feel so bad. I feel empty. Its such a crappy feeling. Im on here everyday looking for answers, or a inside look at why he did this. But no ones situation is the exact same as your own. So im left with this huge question mark in my head.

[DBL]

I think most situations are just like each other. We always think that ours was a different situation. Insead I think everyone just handles a situation differently, not the situation is different.

 

Breaking the habits that we develop in a relationship can be hard. We get used to how things are and it is always hard to break away from it. My wife used to clean. So I came to expect everything clean and bed made when I came home. After she left first thing I do before I leave is make the bed and clean. So when I came home that part wasn't missing. Maybe have a friend or a family member call you or help replicate some of the habbits that you have gotten so used to.

 

Other then that, it is just a matter of time to heal. If someone can leave you without a thought then they most likely didn't love you all like you thought in the first place. You were more like a place holder.

 

Good Luck..Hang in there.

DBL

[Tina smith]

Its not so much what he did that I miss. Its at times like that (ie: lunch - no call) that I realize how over we are. It just hurts real bad.

So you think that he never loved me at all? How can someone just lie like that and use someones emotions? I gave him my heart.... completely.

The way I look at it, is how can someone hurt somone else that way and end up with what they want in the end? Like, how can he throw me aside like he did and hurt me, but end up with his ex and happy? How can the world work like that. It makes me so mad. Its like I have to pay for his mistakes.

[DBL]

That is simple. People only care about themselves. They only care what is good for them and what makes them happy. If this burdens your happiness, oh well...not their problem. They don't have to be around to see you suffer. It is sad to say, some people may disagree, but it is the truth. Everyone looks for the bigger better deal. It is just human nature.

 

As for whether he loved you or not, I think everyone uses this term too loosley. There is also a difference between loving and being in love.

 

These things just happen. People drift apart

 

DBL

[Tina smith]

The funny thing is we didnt drift apart. We were as strong as ever. Thats why it was such a shock. I agree with you a 100%....people are in it for themselves.

The weird thing is, that a week later his roomate (a guy) got dumped for the exact same reason. She left him for her ex (although she was only broken up from him for 8 months) but it still really got to him.....couldnt go to work for a few days and all. So I think my ex kinda got a dose of what he did to me, through his roomate. I think he knows how much it hurt me. But your right, hes not around to see me suffer.

 

But what I wouldnt give to see him suffer.

[DBL]

Well sorry to say this, but it couldn't of been that strong if you he left you like that.

 

We all get what we deserver in the end.

 

DBL

[Tina smith]

I know. Ive realized this.

 

I hope he does get it in the end.....I really do.

[atlas]

I don't think it is as simple as him not having love you. I would expect, unless he is an incredible creaton, and someone who is just plain strange, that he did and probably does love you. You had a relationship, one that as you say, he was apart of. People change though and love, even in good relationships, fluctuates. His own love may have been slowly diminishing in the romantic life you shared but he no doubt would probably go back and forth. Sadly, all people, no matter what is said, are not always honest when they are reaching the point he reached. They don't want to come out and just say it for a million reasons. Maybe he was unsure some of the time, maybe he was afraid of hurting you, or maybe, you know him and we don't, he was just plain afraid.

I know how hard it is to feel like someone so ingrained in your life has just stopped, changed directons, and become another person but it really does get easier. You mentioned that you are just trying to get through the day. I propose that since you are going to feel lousy with whatever you are doing that you take this time to force yourself into a routine that is beneficial and offers growth for you in some aspect. There is nothing better than bringing up your spirits and making you feel good than something you can be proud of, something you have done for yourself. Those new years resolutions of last year can come in handy now for getting you through this situation.

good luck