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one night stands after marriage?


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I am recently married and find my insecurities about women are still present. I never was good at getting the women i wanted before. than i found one, and we got closer, and marrying was the only way to keep her in the USA because of the terrible difficulties that the INS sets up for getting any other kind of Visa.

So here i am married, and i still desire to prove to myself that i am not a loser, and that i can get women, but i feel trapped. But i really love her and i know she is better than anything out there for me. But it would still be nice to have a few one night stands to get my confidence up enough to be satisfied with my one girl.

Where am i headed for? eventual divorce? is there a solution to this feeling of lack of experience?

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where you are headed depends soely on you-your wife-and communication between the two of you. you feel you lack confidence with women. you married not out of undying love or commitment, but because it was your only option to keep things going. you need to have this talk with her. you need to explain where you are. and she needs to see where she is herself. maybe she will be open to extramarital sex. maybe not. but either way she has the right to know and the right to tell you what her feelings are on the issue. some people function well in open relationships, others dont. but, you must discuss things with her!

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  • 3 months later...

Maybe there is a kind of commitment phobia going on here. If the thought of being with one person and giving all your heart to them sets off alarm bells and panic attacks, it might be an idea to type 'commitment phobia' into a good search engine and see what comes up. Good luck.

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