Religion Issues

[Jeffie]

I apoligize for the length, at the moment, its kind of a release.

 

I will have been with my girlfriend for 8 months this wednesday. Ever since the first day we have met things have just sort of worked. We have an awesome relationship. She is the first person that I have loved. We both have talked about the possibility of marrige when we are older. And I could honestly see it working. Except for one issue, religion. She and her familly are very religious, and I and my familly are not so. I attend church somewhat often, and would like to progress; but there is something that is holding me back. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something there. I asked my girlfriend if she could really see her self marrying me in a few years, and she said yes, but there is just a few things lacking, religion mainly. Through out the 8 months we have been together, I have tried to treat her like the princess that she is, and do what ever I could for her. But this issue is not one I want to do for someone esle, and she agreed with me not to do it for her or anyone else but me. I feel that I am a good person with strong morals, but I honestly don't know if I will ever be the person that she needs in this area. I love her and wish I could be, but I just dont know now. I don't know what to do.

 

I thank your for your time and help

 

-Jeff

[lostlove]

it sounds to me like you have already solved this issue by yourself...i think that differences in religions and commitment to religion should not keep you from marrying the woman you love. i do, however, think that you should wait a few more years to get married. i know that my mom got married when she was 21, and regretted it a lot. worry about this in a few more years...perhaps you'll know what you want then as well.

[ticklebug]

I know many married couples who's religious beliefs differ...from what you have, which is one has a deeper commitment to it than the other, to having totally opposite faiths (christian/jewish). There is always a compromise.

 

If it is a relationship that is meant to be, then those things can be discussed and worked out. If you want to strengthen your religious ties, wonderful...but you don't do it for HER...it has to be something YOU personally want - for personal reasons.

 

By the time marriage is a serious issue to the two of you, and not just a fantasy conversation for the future...you will more tan likely have already reached a compromise.

 

One thing though, religion is not something to base an entire relationship on....if she feels if you don't do all the changing it's a deal breaker as far as your life together...she isn't the right person for you. She has to respect who you are, just as much as you have to respect her.

[ayekasong]

Hey Jeffie. I have a B.A. in religious studies, so one thing I can say to you is that I agree with your girlfriend. Don't do this for anyone but you. Especially at your age, people should truly educate themselves on their religion. What religion is she? Most faiths have some sort of program to educate people who wish to become part of that religion. Why not sign up for a class and find out if that is what you truly want?

 

My boyfriend is not very religious, but I am. It was difficult at first to resolve this, but eventually we agreed that he'd listen to me when I went on one of my religious talks, but in turn I would never expect him to completely agree with me. It's difficult, but a reconcilliation can be made.

 

Also, I'd like to say that at their cores, most religions are seeking to answer the same questions and many have the same fundamental answers. However, I don't think I should go too much into detail - just seek out what is right for you and go for it. ^_^ Good luck!

[Jeffie]

She is LDS, I know quite a bit about the mormon faith, I attend church at the very least 2 times a month. I think it is hard for her, her family, and extended familly are quite religious. And I know there are expectations for the type of person she is dating. And I also know that me not being as religious as her and her family is has caused some talk. I don't want this issue to cause the great potential I see to become un-obtainable.