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i have a friend that i would like to have some advice on. a friend of mine as a partner in which why have been together for about two years. the problem is that is the type of person that tells her what to do. Here are some examples... my friends partners tells her what she can and can not wear, goes through her emails, goes through her cell phone records and if she finds a number she doesn't know she'll call it back or questions her about it, and if she doesn't like her friends she has to give them up. Oh one nite her partner stocked me in the parking lot where i work and found out what i drive so now my friend was told she wasn't about to park on that side of the parking lot anymore. She agrees with her and does everything she wants. Now the most shocking of all there having a baby. Yes, her partner paid for this to happen. my friend hasn't told me about it yet. i just found out by mistake. For me i just see it as her partner wants to make sure that my friend feels obligated to her and even though this kid will never be her own. My question is should i say something to her or just not say anything at all. i think my friend deserves better than that. i just see her as a puppet it just gets me mad. by the way i am one of her friends that her parnter has to give up because she doen't like me. She should just respect her friends because i partnership should be an equal partnership. should i say something or should i not?

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well, like any controlling abusive realtionship...the person who is being abused is going to defend his (or in this case her) parnter...


your friend has low self esteem and her partner has extreme jealousy issues (probably from past failures)


you can say something to her, if it makes you feel better...but the only person who can change anything is your friend...and she has to want it..if they are making plans to have a baby together, it sounds as if she will not be open to what you have to say....and if it bothers you that much you may have to consider walking away from the friendship so you don't have to deal with the emotional hurt of seeing a friend be treated badly.

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I agree with ticklebug. You can say something if it would make you feel better, but don't expect your friend to change or stick up for you because it sounds like it's not going to happen. Your friend is doing whatever her gf wants her to do. That is a very unhealthy relationship and at least you recognize this. Too bad your friend doesn't.


So talk to her if you think it will make you feel better, but be prepared to walk away from this relationship.

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Theres a limit to controlling... like with my girlfriend i really dont care as long as she isn't showing too much skin lol... but when reading emails, phone calls, and like that kinda stuff goes on... i think its time to talk about stopping the controlling ness...... the only problem is that a " control freak " type people are very demanding and stuborn and chances are won't listen... they're also the types that always think they are right and once they get something in there heads the believe its true and won't shut up about it.. ( lol sorry ) .. Yea so if she talks to her and says " hey . you know i deserve some privacy and you have no right to go through my stuff and i really dont like it when you do it.. i don't do it to you so why is it okay for you and not for me?? " Now if your friend never said anything the other girl is going to think its alright to do it and continue... so you basically gotta make sure that this girl learns that she needs to stop being such a control freak or some serous' problems are going to acumalate..

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