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blah, i need some advice here.

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Okay, I'm going to tell the whole story, so bear with me..


I've known this guy for years, and hated him. But one night after teh bar I was invited over to his house for an afterparty. I was really drunk and he said I could go sleep in his bed and he'd sleep on the floor. So I did. And nothing happened. I have a history of not being respected so that meant a lot to me.


Next weekend, went to his place for another afterparty. This time we slept in the same bed again and we just cuddled and talked till 7 in the morning.


Next weekend, another afterparty, and we slept together, once while drunk and another time while sober. This happens again the next weekend. We have so much in common and so I really wanted to actually date him, instead of hoping he invites me over every saturday for an afterparty. I'm really shy so I decided it would be better to e-mail him. So I email him (we talk on aim all the time) and no reply. It's been three days. All I said in the email is that I liked him and wanted to spend time with him when I wasn't drinking, and maybe we could get together sometime in the week and hang out. And to reply with his answer. I can't really see him using me for sex, if he waited so long before we did, and I really thought it was kind of a sure thing. Theres the remote possibility he hasn't checked his mail yet, but he hasn't been messaging me lately either. What did I do to scare him off? What do I do now? Pursue it or forget it? Argh!!

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erinbear dear, you can't go asking a guy out. call me old fashioned or what, but relationships in which a girl asks a guy out is never meant to be. if anything is to happen he has to be the one initiating it! if he didn't then it wasn't suppose to happen. think about it...if a guy really likes you he would seek you out even if you'll on the other side of the room he'd make his way accross it to approach you. if he didn't then he wasn't that interested. you may reason that he's just shy. but truth be told...if a guy REALLY digs you...he'd approach you. maybe a relationship in which you initiated first will work out but since YOU ASKED HIM FIRST, you'll going to be doing a lot of stuff first and he's not going to put in much effort or work to 'get you' because it was so easy for him. he didn't even have to ASK you. i'd say good luck with this one... you may try it out and see what happens but i wouldn't put much hope into it. sorry to bust your bubbles...

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  • 1 month later...

Su8261 makes a really good point. But I think that's really nice that you just decided to go for it and tell him. Sounds like this guy means alot to you. I know you were probably getting impatient with waiting for him to ask you out but thats' how guys can be. Anyway maybe he got your email and he's just thinking about what you said. He might be the type of guy that's afraid to commit. I hope he replies to your email so at least you know how he feels.



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