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Hi there everyone...


Recently I got engaged to my boyfriend... we are very happy together and I don't think I could ever love anyone as much as I love him...


But I have this huge problem that I don't know how to handle...


I am not a person who feels very good about myself. I look at other women and feel even worse about myself.


My boyfriend understands this and he respectfully refrains from looking at porn and anything that might upset me.


I really want to get married to my boyfriend, but I don't know how I will be able to handle the bucks party situation... it's an inevitable situation and I know it is going to cut me up.. though there is a "Look but don't touch" rule with that sort of thing, I can't stop thinking that things will go wrong for me on that one night...


How can I stop myself from becoming so jealous and depressed about things like this?? Are there any web resources that you can refer me to??


If you require further information to help you to form an answer just let me know! Any help is always much appreciated.

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Yes, the stag or bachelor or "buck's" party is a stressful part of getting married. I think that you need to be really clear about his expectations and yours and communicate as much as possible about what kind of a party he is expecting to have.


You guys are pretty young to be getting married, have you had any premarrital counseling? I would consider this if I were you.

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eh.. let him go to the party and never ask questions about it. o_O that's pretty much the only way I can think of.



last time I said I wanted to get engaged next year and married a 1 or 2 years after next year people almost skinned me for wanting to get married at 21... =S when I clearly said "23 or 24" too.


I'd suggest counselling too. They'll help you figure out if you still have issues to talk over and decide.

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I would definitely suggest premarital counseling. Any couple planning to wed needs to go through this. It's a must. You guys are awfully young but if you think you're ready, hey, more power to you! About your insecurities, what made you get to this low point? Were you made fun of in school? Did you date a guy prior to your fiancee that would put you down? Maybe this premarital counseling might help with your internal issues as well. I personally wouldn't want my fiancee having a bachelor party with a stripper. It's like saying "Yeah sweetie...you have ONE more night to F**K UP!" No way...if he wants a bachelor party, the "boys" can go shoot pool, have some drinks, something fun with his close friends and family. If my man makes me happy, why would I NEED to see other naked men?? Just doesn't make sense to me.



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The whole stripper thing is the primary reason why I don't want him to have a bachelor party... I just have nightmares about something going wrong whereby I get cheated on.. and though my boyfriend says he has never cheated on any of his girlfriends, I can't rule out the possibility...


I was never very popular at school and didn't have many boyfriends. The two that I did have both cheated on me.. when I was five my father also cheated on my mother, which I guess is one of the reasons why I am so paranoid about it..


I might give premarital counselling a go..


By the way, he's 22, I'm 18... I don't want to ruin his life by having all these insecurities..




What sounds pretty wrong?? What do you mean??

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bachelor's party is mainly a western tradition... chinese don't have bachelor parties or bachelorette parties, so the concept probably looks really awful from his persepctive. just guessing. I heard I'm white washed although i don't agree.

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