How come I cant leave someone I know is not right for me

[volvic1]

Im currently with a guy, the situation is so difficult due to our circumstances, I know hes not right for me... he brings me down constantly.. how come I cant walk away? Whats lacking in me that doesnt allow me to walk away even though I know I have to and even thought mutual friends suggest if he brings me down so much then I should walk away???

[savignon]

Possibilities: you don't think you can do better, you don't want to be alone, you don't think you're worth more than what he can offer and/or you're secretly subconsciously attracted to the drama/attention of being in a relationship that won't work and always has issues/problems you get to talk about with your friends which keeps attention on you...especially when things crash and burn in a dramatic way.

My 2 cents.

[HopsonMcGee]

This is very, very common, so please don't think there's something "lacking" in you. What happens is that something attracted you to him and you became a couple. I assume it wasn't always bad. Plus, even though things are lousy right now, he's nonetheless become a part of your psyche/identity. So leaving him would terrorize your sense of self and identity, regardless of the toxicity of the relationship. This is the reason you're afraid to leave him.

 

And you should be afraid, because believe it or not, it'll be really hard to walk away, particularly if you've been with him for a term of years. But if you do the break-up correctly, you'll be good to go after a few months. You must go NC, obvsly. Think about it as a planned bought with the flu, because that's essentially what it is - you'll feel physically and mentally drained for a few months, not unlike the flu.

[uniqueme]

Maybe you've gotten used to him, like a habit. You'll have to really put in the effort if you want to break it off with this guy.

[ThatwasThen]

Well, you can't stop smoking cigarettes if you keep taking a drag off of one. Plain and simple. You are addicted to having him in your life and you don't love yourself enough to tell yourself "enough is enough, I'm out of here."

 

What really is the point of staying with someone that brings you down and you know that he is bloody awful to your emotional health?

What really is the point of smoking cigarettes when we all know how bloody awful they are to our physical health?

 

The point is there is no point. Its an addiction that one has to be strong enough, to have the will power enough to go cold turkey withdrawl. That means zero contact. (no more drags off your human cigarette called 'bad boyfriend.').

 

Love yourself enough to want to maintain your good health. Quit now and soon enought you'll be to the stage of indifference to him and open in mind and heart to find a good guy that will treat you well. Don't make his abuse your next addiction. You don't want a habit like that one for sure.

[volvic1]

Thanks everyone for all your replys... Im slowly but surely getting the strength to walk away.. Ive been on NC for two days already... everyday im feeling stronger about it... Ive never been this stupid girl that I know im being, so I want to change, I know theres someone out there that will treat me right!!