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She thinks 5 years is too much!

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I have finally asked the girl that I like out a second time. However she thinks the age difference would not make it work out. It is only a five year difference but she is a senior in high school and I am a senior in college. My head has been doing flops ever since I got her reply, cause I was sure that she liked me. I don't know how to deal with this, she's always on my mind and still is.

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In a polite way, ask her why she thinks 5 years is to much. I really don't think its too much, esp. when she is 18. Let her express herself and listen to her. After you have listened to her, maybe you could talk it out with her. Or just be friends and sooner or later she will see if you are right for her or not, regardless of your minor age difference.

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Coming from a female perspective, she's 18 years old, and really hasn't had a chance to experience the "adult world" quite yet.. This has possibly almost nothing to do with you, but everything to do with that she is just "coming out" into the world, and you have already lived it... per say.


I agree with really confronting her with her feelings on it, but however, you don't want to force anything or pressure her into or out of something. Age gaps can be very difficult depending on the age you are speaking from... As I mean, I was 18 too once--- engaged even... Thought I had it all figured out... As it seems, I hadn't even truly hit the tip of the iceburg, and now-- almost 24, I'm NOT married, dated men since my engagement, and am STILL learning that life has more to offer.


My point is, with her being 18 and you being 23, perhaps its truly not the age difference as it is the mental readiness...?

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I'll agree with TrueHeart on this one! The five years isn't a big deal, depending on where those five years are coming into play. At 18, those five years are her college years (or whatever she is going to do next). At 30, those five years are necessarily that big of a deal because you've both lived and learned some. At 50, they mean even less.


Give her time. You are doing flip-flops, and she may be too, but she may want to see what life has to offer right now. Give her some space. This may be hard to hear, but she may want to be free to date around for the next few years. If you two are 'meant to be,' then things will work out that way. If not, then you will both find love in other people. Yeah, I know, what if you're 'meant to be' and you blow it by waiting, right? It doesn't work that way. Life has a very funny way of working things out, for good or bad, for love or not. Do not rush things or push her or smother her. That only defeats you. I have been there....

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