I can't figure him out

[brat]

I hope some of you out there may be able to give me some advice. I'd appreciate an objective opinion.

 

I'm trying to understand this man at work. Actually one of the big problems is that he's my boss. I've been attracted to him since day one and I think he's always been at least a bit attracted to me, but lately he just seems to be flirting more than ever. He goes out of his way to touch me, putting his hands on my shoulders or wrapping an arm around my shoulders, or leaning into me from behind to make a comment about something. He's even invited me out to dinner with him and another manager which was a big surprise because he just doesn't spend time with non managers (such as myself) outside of work.

Any ideas? Is he interested but hesitant because he's my boss or is he just being nice?

[tiger_lilies]

Go with your gut instinct. You're feelings are probably correct.

[Alabama]

If he normally doesn't invite certain employees out, and asked you, then that's a good sign, plus if he's more open about touching, than I'm sure he likes you too! Good luck!

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Advice:

 

Be VERY careful with this. Your boss has already crossed a line that is very difficult to back away from.

 

Simple rule: Never mix business with pleasure because in the end you may find you'll lose both.

 

Your work life and your personal life should be kept as separate as possible because when one affects the other, it can be very difficult. Let's say, hypothetically, that you were to start a relationship with him. If you get in an argument at work, he's still pissy when you go out to the opera later (assuming you're into opera). If you have a bad episode while your at the bar after the opera, you find he's being short with you at work. Your co-workers will notice this and it will create a lose lose situation. If you are promoted, its because your "bangin' the boss". If he demotes you, its because "you aren't performing ALL of your duties well... *wink* *wink*".

 

But he's already put you in a precarious situation. If you say to him "I think you're being very up front with your personal intentions, I'd rather we keep this a strictly professional relationship," suddenly he is short with you and hesitant about saying anything you might take the wrong way. Your professional relationship will be bruised because of something that has occurred in the personal realm. Also, you may find yourself experiencing anxiety with your work because your worried that if you mess up, he will find you less desireable.

 

In summary, a relationship with someone at work is very risky business and something that should be avoided, but often... avoiding risky business is risky as well. Catch-22. Sorry, that's how life is and it sucks.