not sure what to do

[catgirl82]

hey guys

so lately, ive been feeling confused about my relationship. my boyfriend and i are having alot of trouble making time for eachother and its really starting to ruin things between us. our communication is going downhill. i really feel that he's my soulmate, but lately i just feel like ive been trying alot more than he has. we've had such scheduling issues and time issues that we still havent sat down to talk about things. im just feeling really depressed. every time we have a normal conversation, i get all depressed about whats really bothering me, but theres never enough time to talk about it. now hes gone for thanksgiving and im still here at school. i guess my question is, how do you know when youre ready to break up with someone? he is my soulmate and i really dont think i could ever find someone else who i connect with so well- but lately this relationship is making me so unhappy because of all the stress and lack of seeing eachother. im so confused. has anyone ever been in this situation?

[beanpaper]

Soul mates may or may not exist, but happiness certainly does. If you're unhappy, don't stay in the relationship. He should make time for you. If things between you both are truly meant to be, perhaps later, when schedules are more compatible, you can pick things up again. But there is no reason you should stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't act like they even want one with you. People prioritize the things they care the most about. Trust your instincts on this one - I am pretty sure they are telling you to break up with him. You might be a happier person, then.

 

i really dont think i could ever find someone else who i connect with so well

You can find a lot of people who you connect with but still make you unhappy. You have to find the connection and contentment!

[BadMadame]

To answer your question "how do you know when to break up," I would say when your answer is that you don't love him anymore, when both of you are not willing to compromise and support each other, and when you feel uncomfortable around him on a normal day. Not because you are having an issue with him now.

I know time is such a big issue. I have a couple friends who are having problem with time and communication. You two don't have much time to hang around. Call him and tell him what you love about him. Once a day, just to surprise him. Find a little surprise for him. At least you two have time to talk on the phone twice a day. This is like practising your communcation skill as a couple. Set a date for a few hours once a week. This is a must thing to do. Spending time together helps you to boost up your relationship a lot. I know you two are busy. At least try to make it.

I know this sounds like you have to be the one to make a move first. It doesn't hurt to do that, right? If it makes your relationship better, it's worth to try. Please don't feel like you are the one to sacrifice in this relationship. Sometimes we need to do it.

Hope your relationship is saved.

[marolua]

If you two can not make time for each other, why don't you make some time for yourself, dont ask for his time, at least try not to ask him, do what you would do, go where you would like to go if you did not have him as your bf.

I went through such 'I do not have time' discourse of a man, and I know that there is nothing worse that can make you feel yourself this much worse. Just stop thinking of what to do about your relationship, try to focuse on what you can do for yourself, try not to be 'available' whenever he asks you, and I am sure things will get better for your relationship!

 

Even soulmates may get bored of each other?