BadMadame
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I totally agree with PlayBrat and Reilly2856, and really have to thank them for making me realize that I should do that for myself. ShortLA and I have the same problem. Except my ex is 44 years old and doesn't know what he wants. Anyhow, just treat him like a stranger or someone at work or college that you are not very close to. Indeed you need to pretend and hurt your feeling a little bit at first. But it will help you get over him in the short time. Plus he will realize at last he has make a big mistake Well he deserves it. Also he wants you to do something just to get him back. This guy has a big issue and is the player. Don't fall for that. Do you think if you two get back together, he will not leave you again for no reason. It happens once, it will happen again, gal.
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Once again, you and I have shared the same experience. My ex and I have talked about buying a house together before we broke up. You are a little bit luckier than me because you can move somewhere else. I can't. I have signed a contract with a company. So I stuck here with the same environment, same pictures that he and I shared memories. Plus I saw him walking around with his new one once in awhile. We should dry our tears together. I live near San Francisco too.
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Yep, I've been there and still there, sort of. I can tell you that he loved you which you should keep all the good memory you two shared together. Yet, he doesn't know what he wants and misses. So move on. I know you are in pain. I am too. Please give yourself sometimes. Time will heal. How long will it take? It's up to you. Mines has been 5 months. Still now over him completely. I don't know I ever will. But gal, life is too short and far way too important to be taken too seriously. Why makes your life miserable? Make your everyday is the best you can. You are not the only one who suffers from love tragedy. You have friend to support you here.
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I have an Asain friend who is not Asian American. She told me in Asia, most people, especially Thai, don't say it easily because this world is very meaningful and powerful to them. Unlike us, American, we say it way too often, but how many time do we actually mean it. Saying it by the mouth and saying it by heart is two different meaning. But with the real love, everything happens. I hope he actually means "true love." I want to see you happy.
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I've been dating my current BF for 9 months. Everything seemed to go well until last month. First he invited me to Thanksgiving at his home, then he told me I should not go because he was not ready to drag me into his circle yet. By saying that he told me his family problems that I was heard before and didn't care. Also he doesn't want to worry about me while spending time with his family. He made it sounded like I will cause some problems. When we have problem, he always blames it all on me. And I don't let him do that lately. The night before he went to his house, I found someone's personal ads. I approached him. Indeed he was mad at me. I know that I was wrong about not respect his privacy. That moment I wanted to make thing clear. So we had an argument. And he admitted that he have fantasised having sex with other women. We agree to have monogamous relationship. I don't have the body that he wants, but my love to him is very strong. My look is not that bad at all, just not his type. If he doesn't attract to me at the first place, why has he been dating me? We broke up once, but he came to ask me back. Our sex life is up and down. I have the impression that he can't separate intimacy or making love or having sex between real life and porn movies. I can't say I love him during sex. I feel insecure, unworthy very much and not accepted from him right now. I beg you to help.
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To answer your question "how do you know when to break up," I would say when your answer is that you don't love him anymore, when both of you are not willing to compromise and support each other, and when you feel uncomfortable around him on a normal day. Not because you are having an issue with him now. I know time is such a big issue. I have a couple friends who are having problem with time and communication. You two don't have much time to hang around. Call him and tell him what you love about him. Once a day, just to surprise him. Find a little surprise for him. At least you two have time to talk on the phone twice a day. This is like practising your communcation skill as a couple. Set a date for a few hours once a week. This is a must thing to do. Spending time together helps you to boost up your relationship a lot. I know you two are busy. At least try to make it. I know this sounds like you have to be the one to make a move first. It doesn't hurt to do that, right? If it makes your relationship better, it's worth to try. Please don't feel like you are the one to sacrifice in this relationship. Sometimes we need to do it. Hope your relationship is saved.
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Boyfriend of 5 years never invites me to any gatherings
BadMadame replied to xmrth's topic in Relationship Advice
My boyfriend doesn't invite me to the Thanksgiving party. My face probably doesn't go along with the dead bird You should ask him instead of keep this feeling with you. Ask him to be open and honest with you. My BF told me that he is not ready to drag me into his circle yet (well he has quite a tough one; I have to say that.) It hurts to hear that, but at least he is honest with me. So I celebrate it with my friends instead. Keep in mind not add too much feeling (resentfulness and anger) when you confront him. Play cool, OK. Guys appreciate it. -
Dream is just a dream. As long as you do not let it come true, it won't be any problem.
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I think you should let it go and learn to trust him. What would you feel if your boyfriend doesn't trust you and you haven't done anything wrong or shown signs of cheating? Give yourself and him time to learn more about each other. Also good communication is helpful. Just sit down together and talk about what you two like and dislike in communication skill. Learn how you two communicate. Try to be open and honest. Talk to him without bad attitude. I myself have learned this lesson. Please trust me on this.
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Yahoo I am so happy for you. He is one of the sweetest and forgiving guys I've ever heard. Take good care your relationship and love. "With love and patience, nothing is impossible."--Daisaku Ikeda.
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It doesn't look good to jump from one guy to another. You have to ask yourself what causes you and your current one unhappy. Is there any way to solve the problem(s)? Are you sure you "in love" with the third one? What would the third one feel if you leave your boyfriend for him? I would be hesitate to date you because I'm not sure this story might happen to me someday. In your case, it is very difficult--choosing between relationship and friendship. If it happened to me, I would tend to stay with my current one since he doesn't do anything wrong. Plus, friendship is very important to me. Wish you make the best for yourself.
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I encourage you to face to truth and show response from what you have done. It's all for your own sake. If you can't admit it to your boyfriend, the guilt keeps coming back to haunt you. Break up or not is not your decision; it's his. It is something you have to accept. I know that you are afraid of the result, but what else can you do? I wish he forgives you. P.S. I'm sure you've learned the lesson.
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Your love to your boyfriend is not strong enough. I strongly agree with Iceman26 to tell your boyfriend what happen between you and Reid. At least you won't have to bring it to your grave. Hope he forgives you for that. If he does, please keep in mind that you're one of the luckiest girls whose boyfriend loves you very strongly--stronger than his hurt feeling. If he doesn't, you deserve it. With Reid moving away is not solving the problem, the problem is in you--your guilt and out of control. You have to deal with it. If you can't stick with one guy, don't be in a relationship because you will end up with guilt and hurting people feeling again--not only your boyfriend, but everyone who involves in this situation.
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I applaud you for doing that. =D> All the best luck to you. Remember, you have friends here. Although we don't really know each other in person, it helps to know and to have someone support you. Waiting for your return.
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If you are worried about how her friends and others will talk about you, you may loose the girl. Don't care too much how people think about you in this matter. Think how you really feel to yourself and the girl. Nothing to loose, boy. In case you make a little mistake, learn from it and make it better next time. Don't be too shy if you really like her. How bad it's gonna be if she says no. It's not the end of the world.