Relationships through e-mail, am I the only one bugged by it

[JohnnyTable]

Recently and in the past, I have had to deal with relationship type issues through e-mail. I guess the other person just felt comfortable doing it this way instead of talking in person.

 

The problems that I have are:

 

-E-mails can be misunderstood unless they are written with careful precision. Even then you can read into words. You are not able to say "what do you mean" WHILE the person is saying something to you. You are not able to read their body language. When they receive your e-mail, you have no idea what state of mind they are in, if their friends are there, etc. It just feels hollow sometimes.

 

-E-mails of the required precision take forever to write properly.

 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

Of course, they do have their place. Like if two people are so mad at each other that they cannot talk to each other. Or if they really need to put something into writting, or take time with their response.

 

(I'm not talking about normal correspondence through e-mail which is fine. I'm only talking about dealing with relationship issues).

[Iceman26]

Oh man, I saw this post and had to chime in on this one.

 

My ex girlfriend would start arguments with me all the time over email and text messages. I think using email to argue is a cowards way out, so they dont have to see you face to face or hear your tone of voice. There is also a huge amount of room for misinterpretation in the written word.

 

I dont see a problem with having a nice conversation through email at work, but arguing? Hell no.

 

I think if people are too mad to speak they should cool off and talk when they have calmed down. Its what people did before the age of computers and cell phones. Emails can also be shown to other people, the same as a letter or a text message. I can't count the number of times I have been at work and seen guy/girls show their work friends arguments that they are having with their significant other over email.

[JohnnyTable]

Cell phones are bad too. My ex used to argue with me over her phone, but half of the time I couldn't even hear what she was saying which just pissed me off and made things worse.

[sayer7]

I personally don't see a reason to use email or cell phone to discuss normal everyday relationship issues and arguments... UNLESS the gf or bf is clearly abusive and there is a threat to physical safety... and even in that case I think all contact should be avoided so there's no point in emailing or calling in that kind of case at all. If it's an abusive relationship I say leave it because the cycle of violence and abuse only continues and worsens as time goes on.

 

This is from a criminal justice professional's stand-point of course and just my opinion. I deal with domestic violence cases on a daily basis so I might have a biased extreme view of things.