My manager does not emphathize, seems power hungry, and I don't know what to do.

[lifeisaparadox]

I was hired about 8 months ago with a recommendation from a friend way higher up than me. I'm still in college so this is an entry-level job but helps pay for college. I work in a restaurant, by the way.

 

Anyway the first situation occurred within the month of my hiring. It was Thanksgiving day and it was pretty busy. We had large parties coming in left and right and I was still fairly new and just finished training. I had a customer complain about me and how I was rude and racist (he was the same ethnicity as me? so confused) because he thought I was ignoring him for the white family. Well, from my PoV, I had saw the white family arrive first so I assisted them, then assisted the Chinese family. He then told my manager a bunch of lies like how I made these crude racist comments, how I refused to answer his questions, how I didn't apologize, etc. which NONE of it happened.

 

Because I was new, my manager sat me down and talked to me and told me that is not the way to treat customers. He basically threatened me that I am new, still on probation, and I need to watch how I behave. I told that I never made those comments and I apologized to the customer after I noticed the customer was upset for whatever reason. He didn't believe me and just said "we do not treat customers that way."

 

Throughout these past 8 months, he has not taken me into his office, but he does seem to be VERY bossy. I understand that he IS my boss and I listen to everything he tells me to do, but today kind of shocked me.

 

I was dealing with a customer with a very bad attitude. During our previous meeting, the manager had specified to notify him if we feel threatened or anything by a customer. Well, this customer started swearing at me because he saw opened tables at the restaurant and I told him he had to wait about 10-15 minutes for a seat, explained we had a waiting list already. I called my manager and he told me to get the customer and just give him a table. I explained to him that we were on the waitlist and have several parties ahead of this guy, all who have been waiting for at least 15-20 minutes. The guy saw tables when he looked in the restaurant was because I had just paged them and were waiting for them to walk here.

 

My manager told me to sit him anyway. So I said "are you sure? We are on a wait, and I paged them." He said yes so I sat them. However, I ended up having a party I paged wait an extra 10 minutes, angrily, in front of the restaurant because I had given the table away due to my manager's directions.

 

Later, he came to talk to me privately and told me specifically "Don't question me whenever I tell you to do something. When I said to sit him, you sit him. Don't talk back, don't ask why, just do it. I'm your manager."

 

He does a lot of other small things, like tells me to specifically write on this notepad or that notepad (we have so many different notepads, it doesn't matter because we end up throwing the paper out anyway). And when I forget, he tells me "I told you yesterday, do as I say! I told you to write on that paper!" He becomes really controlling when it gets really busy as well, as if I don't know how to do my job.

 

He talks down to me as if I can't handle customers too. This is my first job in a high volume restaurant but I worked in two high volume retail stores for a year in both, so I've had enough customer service experience to understand how to deal with bad customers IMO. All my past managers praised me, one even wanted to promote me, because they believed I was one of their best employees when it came to bad customers.

 

From a neutral PoV, is he being bossy or am I just overreacting? I've never been in a work environment where I didn't like my boss, so I'm not sure if this is just him being strict or not.

[Perplexingana]

It sounds like you might have a cloud looming over your head. I think because of the first issue with the customer that felt treated poorly even if it wasn't true, it left a bad taste in your managers mouth. I have the same issue at my present job. I've made a few mistakes on my register and I've had complaints from customers about having a sour expression on my face. I think I have been reacting to my store manager because she is a bit of a bully and intimidating so I was usually feeling really uncomfortable while at work because she just carries herself and treats employees poorly. I had a realization though that I needed to maintain happiness regardless of her making the work environment uncomfortable so my customer service has improved significantly as well as my money handling skills thanks to the help of another manager. I did lose hours though and even though I have improved I still haven't gotten all of my hours back and I think it's because of my previous performance. The cloud is still over my head and so I'm now looking for another opportunity. I would suggest just staying out of your managers way and doing as he tells you and letting him handle the aftermath of customer complaints because then it will be his responsibility because he made the decision. Also, look for another job and start new without the cloud. That is what I am looking to do and in the mean while I am just staying out of my managers way, making the choice to be happy every shift and being cautious with my money handling until I find a new job.

[lavenderdove]

Anywhere you work there WILL be jerks and dominating and obnoxious personalities. Unfortunately you have one as a boss... The point is unless you run your own company, you will always have a boss, and some are more autocratic and controlling than others.

 

But if he's not doing anything illegal and it is just a case of you don't like his style, your best option is to look for another job at the same company reporting to someone else, and if there are no other positions you could take at that company, you start looking for another job and quit when you find one. His personality is not going to change.

 

Also a very simple maxim: your boss is responsible for your raises, perks, assignments, and has the ability to promote you and have you fired. So rather than deciding to fight with him or go against him when he asks you to do something, it is far better to do everything you can to please him, as your compensation and future at the company depends on how he perceives you. Many people get confused and think their boss 'ought' to be nice or 'ought' to be different or that they have the autonomy to decide how they want to do their job even if the boss objects, but they really don't because there is a hierarchy of authority and your boss controls your pay, promotions, assignments, and whether you keep your job or not.

 

So i know he can be annoying and you think he is harsh and you don't like him, but the reality is he is in charge and if you want things to go easier for yourself, you need to do what he says and just let the rest go. And if you dislike him a lot or can't stand working with him, then it is your option to find another job and a boss who you will get along with better. It's not a question of 'right' vs. 'wrong' behavior, it is a question of who is in charge, and he is in charge (as long as he is not doing anything legally actionable).

 

I've had 2 bosses in my career who were so horrible I refused to work for them, and several more i really didn't like and 'escaped' into other jobs/positions in order to not have to deal with them every day. But some were just annoying and i just learned how to tune them out and ignore it when they were at their worst. But no matter what, i ALWAYS did what they asked me because they were the boss and it never pays you personally to work against the boss. If I really hated them or thought they were wrong or obnoxious, i just looked for another position and left when i found one.

[blueidealist24]

I think you should start looking for another job. His actions don't make sense according to logic. Why would you seat a customer who just got there when other parties have been waiting awhile? Just because he yells, he gets the first seat? That doesn't make any sense, plus the boss might have just lost the other party who had to wait longer as future customers! It sounds like he just operates from whim/emotion and not logic, and he's not going to change so the best thing to do is really leave.