I desperately need help

[suzysuzy]

I have a problem establishing and maintaining really close friends. I am not a very social type so maybe that makes me not very approachable. Sometimes I just feel that I am so borred to talk to and don't really have much topic to say to someone. Does anyone can give me good advices and techniques on maintaining or establishing good friendships? Also, what can make people have more interest in you and make people tick?

[Beec]

The biggest thing is to listen. Each of us is more interested in one person than any one else in the world: Ourselves. Make some think you are interested in them, and they will probably like you. A simple idea I read in "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

 

Otherwise, if you want to be interesting develop interests. But think about them before you do it. For instance, not amny people are going to love to hear an expert talk about the workings of the digestive track of an insect. Boring, possibly disgusting, and way over the top of most of our heads. However, someone may be fascinated by you if you know something mroe about things they can relate to. If you knew someone who loved the new movie about Alexander the Great, and you could discuss in mroe detail how he managed to win certain battles or rule over so many disparate people, that might interest them.

 

A person with an idea of a general history and explaining how something came to be, might be more interesting than the talk on the same era that is suitable only to be understood by someone with a degree in that area of history.

 

That help?

[mtastic]

I know how you feel. I have a problem maintianing close friends as well. In fact, up until recently I didn't have anyone i really considered myself "close" to. One of the ways i found people was through this site. I was able to find a few kindred spirits who seem to view the world the same way I do, and whom I've become very comfortable talking with, and thus become very close to. I know its not quite the same as having friends you can go out and do thigns with, but its given me the confidence to open up a bit to my friends who I see during the day. I know what you mean about feeling like other people will think you are boring and that you feel you have nothing to day, as for fixing that, you have to try and set yourself up in situations where you can meet people who have similar interests as you, like taking a specific class, or joining a club.

 

Feelo free to PM or IM me if you wanna talk, and best of luck to you.

mtastic