This one is different

[mystic1]

My girlfriend broke up with me four months ago...and I've been through this quite a few times before (although it's been 8 years since the last one)..but the obsession is just unbearable with this breakup. I suppose it's because I thought she was my soulmate. I've dated a few other people since it happened...and it has helped...but no one seems to compare with her. I read a post stating that first you'll have one whole obsession free day...then a week....etc....I really hope that this happens for me...because I am just burning up my mind dwelling on her.

 

I have been able to accomplish things despite this heartache...I have found better employment, expanded my circle of friends and gotten much more spiritual...but I just can't seem to stop those thoughts.

 

Ideas?

[getnbtrnow]

Hi Mystic,

 

I am in the same boat. 8 months ago. I fell I've lost my soulmate. I'm not sure if it's real love on my part or obsession as you say. It's trying day to day. Never out of my mind. I'm still pursuing quietly, but to no avail. This is my first post here and maybe we can help each other. Your are not alone in this..... 8)

[SwEeTLiLGuRL]

I completely know what you mean. I KNOW I lost my soulmate. it just really sucks. I have my story posted on here. My guy has to sow his wild outs before settling down it seems. But how do I live with that thought in my head of my soulmate entangled with some other chick in the sheets? I'm trying to do day by day, but it does hurt. But try to keep a positive head on your shoulders, and definitely turn to God, He is the only one that can direct you in the right path.

[getnbtrnow]

Hey Mystic,

 

Me again. I have not had one free day without thinking of her. Obsession, probably, but it,s real and not something easy to deal with. Time is what we need and I think It's alright to think of them. Let the emotions go and work through them as best we can. I started writing poetry when this happened and have written over a hundred poems. Not all about her, but over 70% were. It didn't help my sadness. It just gave me and outlet for it. I'm 57 and you would think I would be old enough to handle something like this but that's not the case. Hang in there!

 

Please excuse the spelling in the last Post.

 

gbn

[SteveNaive]

Hello...

 

Just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel. It always is hard to completely lose someone out of your life, especially if you consider that person your soulmate. However, I do believe that there is more than just one person out there that we can connect to, and maybe even our soulmates change throughout life, just as our friends do sometimes.

 

So do not let this pull you down to much. It really does take time and it is quite likely that it will take longer the longer you were together. Nevertheless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so keep going and you actually may find a new soulmate... Most of us here have not found theirs yet, so we will have to continue our quest...

 

Good luck!

[Cryssi]

I guess I've been through the same, too. Losing the one I know that was my soulmate...

 

But I like the idea of soulmates. That there's not just one person out there that's for you, that you have many... There's just so many people out there.

 

We do think a lot about our breakups, don't we? Though... My current boyfriend reminded me of something, that I find is very important. We remember them because we want to. We sit down, and we want to think of the good moments, of the good things.

 

I guess that we turn those good things, to bad things too, by being hurt by them. Good memories are to stay good, no matter what. You should use them to help yourself go through the day. The relationship happened, you were in love, maybe you still are... But just maybe, now's the time to move on, to keep those cherished memories as mementos.

 

A breakup doesn't end in a day.. But if you really want to get better and continue with your life, there's no doubt that you'll able to =)

[mystic1]

Thanks for all the insightful replies. Was feeling kind of weird with this non stop obsession. I have been studying metaphysics sinced we split. I really believe that the course of my life has changed for the better since she left. My career has taken a turn for the better, and I am much more spiritual now.

 

Although it's not a manly thing to admit, I am scared of this woman because of all the pain she has caused me. The whole thing seems like a dream now. We were only together for 3 months, but it was very powerful and intense. I have heard from some that all this intensity is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to long term relationships. Slower momentum tends to build a stronger foundation. Thanks to all.

 

Mystic1

[Cryssi]

I'm just glad I could help you out a bit. And yes, intensity can be a downer... It can destroy the most perfect of relationships betwin two human beings, especially after a break up.

 

Continue with the great work, though. And don't feel so un-manly about admitting your fears, it actually makes you even stronger!