Which one more likely comes back the ex BF or the ex GF?

[ryan14]

hello to you all

 

i think this is stupid to ask but i do hope someone would give me some insights on my questions

 

I am just wonderin which gender more likely comes back with their partner, Ex-Girlfriends or Ex-Boyfriends?

 

if a girl tells you its "OVER" is it really over?

 

or if a guy tells you its "OVER" is it really over also?

 

is there any statistics for these things?

[CarterJonas]

My take on this is that once someone has made up their mind that they don't want to be in a relationship, then that is it 'OVER', it doesn't matter whether it was said by the guy or the girl.

 

I know there are some exceptions with getting back together, but in general I think it is probably best to move on.

[popo]

ryan14,

 

i dont think there's any statistic showing this. human feeling can change. it depends on many things in life. so i can say, they can say it's over today, but ask u back weeks or months after. but you cant count on this. just like what previous post said better move on. btw, if u have read other thread, move on is also the way to take exes back.

[PAdreamer]

Well, from my personal experiences and observations here's what I've noticed: It REALLY depends on how the split occurred. If the guy broke it off with the girl, he usually won't be looking to get back together. If the girl broke it off with the guy, you often see BOTH partners trying to get back together at some point.

[SteveNaive]

Two words: it depends... really cannot say much else. Normally I suppose if someone says it's over, it really is... Never made a different experience...

[iceesnowbubble]

In my own experience the guy always came back after breaking it off.. i never went back to him after i broke it off. Not that this is true for everyone, but its the only honest insight i can give to your question.

[fridolyn]

I've read somewhere that boys are more likely to come back (statistically). But, you should keep in mind that its over, that our exs are not going to come back and that's a good thing. Let's forget about them, we're better without them.

 

 

Fridolyn

 

 

***English is my second language

[ryan14]

thank you very much for all the responses

 

i am just wonderin if my girl would come back, its been 7 months and still no progress, i have a friend and she told me that women more likely comes back with the guy, because women wants to stay friends with their exes.

[Mix Maxster]

I'd say girls are more likely to go back. My cousin got back together with her ex of like 2 years, my sister got back with her ex, my other sister with hers... most of the girls i talk to who had their ex's dump them say that the ex wants nothing to do with them, but typically i hear from my guy friends about the ex coming back to them if it's the girl dumping the guy.

 

I've only heard that so I don't know if that's the truth or not. I still think though that the majority of the time it's the girl going back, because I know this sounds bad and judgemental but from my experience it doesn't take much for a girl to love a man at the start. It almost seems that if the guy is attractive and isn't a jerk to her and treats her well, she normally falls in love with the guy at some point, but guys are much different and harder to please. More likely to dump you and not feel any guilt and no regrets, but sometimes girls have a problem with wondering if they've made the right choice or not so they dump you to check if it is and get back together when they think that is the right choice.

 

Sometimes it's a cycle with women, but for the most part it's 50/50 BUT also that the majority of the time it's the girls doing it more than the guys. Kind of like how you should technically get 25 heads and 25 tails for every 50 tosses or what have you, but it would seem that you get more heads more than not for some reason. So to answer it, I honestly think it's the girls that go back more so than the guys.

[Mix Maxster]

and you want to know why the girl wants to stay friends with their ex?

[ryan14]

yeah basically why?

[shockeddismayed]

yeah basically why?

 

1) So that they don't have to choose and keep the option open.

2) So that they don't have to feel guilty for hurting you.

 

My little theory (and boys and girls there are more EXCEPTIONS to this theory than there is evidence to support it... but it's just the way I've looked at things):

 

I think that "confused" dumpers are motivated by fear or guilt.

 

A fearful dumper (male or female) will ALWAYS try and keep the option to return open... simply b/c they think they've made a mistake, and need to keep you around until they know.

 

On the other hand, a guilty dumper may act completely differently based on why they dumped you. If they dumped you b/c they started to be physically attracted to other people again, they will likely avoid you and move on because they don't like to feel superficial. If they dumped you b/c "the magic was gone", they are likely to still want to be friends, cuz they know that you are a nice person, and may want to keep a positive relationship with you.

 

I think girls are slightly more likely to dump based on "the magic is gone".... and guys slightly more likely to dump based on a wandering eye.

 

Hence, more situations where the girl likes to be friends, or string it along... and more situations where a guy just leaves for good to avoid feeling like a dirtbag.

 

I'm only half joking.

[ryan14]

that is so true S&D

 

i wish there's a standard solution for these things (ex's behaviour) so that everybody would be happy, the word hope for me is turning into hopeless, LIFE REALLY SUCKS

[kipster]

Of course the best answer is it DEPENDS.

 

In terms of my personal experience, I can say that I've only gone back to an EX twice, and one of them it was mainly my doing, the other it was more a mutual thing that I really had no expectations for. In 90% of the cases where I've broken up with a girl, I have never called back or gone back to the woman. But that's in my role as a dumper.

 

As a dumpee, I'm much more likely to go back as a male. In one instance (and keep in mind I was young in both cases) I was dumped by a girl (after 6 mos.) and then 3 years later (yes 3 years later, but we were VERY young) she dated me again (for 1 year). But I initiated the contact some 3 years later after we had a class together and we flirted often. With the other girl, we dated for 1 day and broke up (yeah, I was a jerk and did I mention YOUNG ) and she held that against me for 6 years. We then dated again for a year (but we both cheated in that relationship after an intense start).

 

Now there is one girl that I did break up with that I do regret, she was an absolute sweetheart and a model, and was probably the most attractive woman that I've ever dated. She was just too young at the time and I broke up with her for that reason. She tried to come back, but I wasn't interested. She's one of the few women that would have every right to read me the riot act some 10 years later if she saw me (and I'd gladly receieve it!).

 

Kip