Is this normal?

[shygirl23]

I recently had a post about my problem of losing arousal when my boyfriend started fingering me. I think that was a mental problem, or as he said jokingly to me last night, "Maybe I just wasn' t in the mood..." Plus I'm pretty inexperienced. Anyway, I don't really care what caused that problem before, because it's gone. Hooray!

 

Anyway, my boyfriend and I were on my bed making out, etc. I had my knee against his erection and his reaction got me so turned on that I figured fingering just had to work. So I put his hand between my legs. He got the (not so subtle) hint and went to work. I expected the feeling to fade after a few seconds, but to my surprise, it didn't.

 

He kept at it for a really long time (I can only imagine how tired and sore his arm got), and it was great. I didn't orgasm, but I wasn't really worried about orgasming. I was happy with what I got.

 

After a while my fingers felt really tingly and kind of numb. That tingly feeling spread all through my hands and up my arms. Then it started in my toes and my legs. Even the muscles in my stomach felt like that. I was shaking all over and at some points during the fingering, I was shaking so badly that he actually paused to ask me if I was okay.

 

Afterward, I was exhausted, tingly all over, and shaky. But wonderfully content. I could have gone to sleep right there. I didn't feel like moving, so my bf just rolled over on top of me after we were done and we started kissing again (with me still lying on my back on the bed).

 

I thought reactions like that only occurred with an orgasm. I'm pretty sure I didn't orgasm. Was all the shaking, numbness, and total exhaustion normal? I'm not complaining or anything, it was great, but I'd like to know if other people do that too.

 

Thanks!

[Cadence308]

shygirl, it sounds like you had an orgasm. I've never had sex before or allowed someone to finger me, but I know what a self-induced orgasm feels like. What you just described sounds like an orgasm. It can take a woman a long time to reach an orgasm and you sound like you were so fulfilled after the experience. After I masturbate, sometimes I get really tired and take a short cat nap. Everything just feels so relaxed and, yes, I guess you can say everything feels tingly. And yes, an orgasm brings on uncontrollable shaking and I get really, really wet. It feels very good!

[shygirl23]

All those signs do point toward orgasm, but I never had any vaginal contractions (I know that some women don't experience contractions, but I sometimes have orgasms when I'm asleep and the contractions always wake me up). Is it possible to orgasm without any contractions? Or maybe I approached orgasm but never quite got over the edge?

[Cadence308]

I think you had an orgasm. I have heard that the vaginal walls contract, but I don't know...I'll have to see how I feel next time I masturbate and get back to you on that one. Give me a day or two! I know that women can orgasm from being touched in their g-spot and if your boyfriend was fingering you, maybe you had a vgainal orgasm. But, you didn't have vaginal contractions, so maybe you had a clitoral orgasm. Whenever I masturbate I always play with my clit and that does the trick. That's where I like to be touched. I'm pretty sure you had an orgasm! OOh-aah!

[EatZ]

I think Ballys' onto it.

 

A lot of people disagree that there are two types of orgasms, but from my experience there are. Namely clitoral and Vaginal. Clitoral being a very quick and intense orgasm that leaves you feeling very sensitive, and vaginal, being a deeper, longer and almost numbing orgasm -- which sounds like what you had.

[shygirl23]

Okay, thanks. So I guess my reaction wasn't completely abnormal after all?

 

I have another question though, if I really did orgasm, then wouldn't I be able to tell? I didn't notice if I really did have one. But then again, I am accustomed to contractions. Do you think I didn't recognize it because I wasn't used to a different type orgasm?

[Cadence308]

I'm not sure, maybe. Hopefully someone more sexually experienced can provide more insight to that! I think once you become more experienced sexually and what turns you on and such, then you will know the answer to that question. I'm sure that the 2 orgasms could feel quite different.

 

Try masturbating and see if you can bring yourself to orgasm. I didn't even know I had a vagina at your age. I didn't start masturbating until I was 19 yrs old. Also, with masturbating you will get to know what feels good and what you like. Many say that it helps with your sex life when you get one because you will be more comfortable with your body and can communicate that with your partner.

[shygirl23]

I've never really been able to masturbate, but now that there's a possibility that I'm having a real orgasm (while I'm actually awake and fully aware), then I'll just have to try. Ha ha.

[bettyboop401]

Hehe...just putting my 2 cents in here. EatZ has it right. A vaginal orgasm is almost a whole body tingling, toe curling, body numbing experience and it sounds like this is what you had (well perhaps not the toe curling ). Clitoral is basically pleasure around the groin area. Both different, both amazing. Also remember that because you did not contract it does not mean that you didn't orgasm. As you said it might be due to inexperience with that particular orgasm. There are also different levels of orgasm I find. It sounds like whatever it was you enjoyed it. So get out there and experiment and keep in mind that you're perfectly normal.

 

Betty!

[shygirl23]

This is probably a stupid question and it's definitely off subject, but what is the correct way to pronounce "clitoris?" I know it's hard to describe pronunciation by typing. but could someone give it a try?

 

Is it...

 

kli-tor-is

 

klit-or-is or

 

kly-tor-is?

 

I'd look it up, but my dictionary doesn't have pronunciations

.

[EatZ]

The very first one.

[bettyboop401]

Yep yep...first one

 

Betty!

[shygirl23]

Thanks. I feel a little silly, but you'd be amazed at how many different ways I've heard people pronounce it. The fact that I live in the south (U.S.) and basically everyone around here talks funny doesn't really help much either.. I just don't want to be another stereotypical redneck who mispronounces the word "clitoris," I guess.

[shygirl23]

For a while I was thinking that maybe I really had orgasmed, but I've changed my mind. My boyfriend and I talked it over and I described it to him. Afterward, I guess I kind of realized that I didn't really orgasm. Sure, I got shaky and tingly and numb. And I was so content, even if exhausted, afterward, but that's it. There weren't really any of the standard tell-tale signs that I had.

 

So, since I'm about 99% certain that I didn't really orgasm, what now? I'm not so worried about not climaxing, but I think my boyfriend is. I've told him before that I'm not too concerned with orgasming anyway and that it isn't his responsibility to do that for me (I don't masturbate so I don't know what works so I'm not really a very good guice), but I think he feels that since I "get him there" that he should return the favor.

 

The last few times that we've tried anything, I got really tingly, numb, and shaky like usual, but for some reason it was really intense. I started going numb everywhere, particularly the clitoral/vaginal region. I eventually had to stop him. The weird thing is, he was doing anything different, so I don't know why the feeling was so different. It was a little puzzling. Over-stimulation, maybe?

[sprkal]

This happens to me as well. When I have sex sometimes I get that shaky tingly hot/cold feeling, and then I feel exhausted after, and a little overstimulated. I dont think its an orgasm, because I have had orgasms. Maybe its the way our bodies are reacting to vaginal stimulation? My belief is that if we keep practising, we'll get there in the end...

 

...and who wouldnt like practising!?

 

 

[bettyboop401]

Yeh sprkal has it right too. It takes practise and don't think you're going to orgasm each time. It really sounds like you're building up to an orgasm but you've just got to keep practising to find out what gets you over the top. Doing this yourself might make you uncomfortable so just get your boyf to help and try new things even. Good luck!

 

Betty!

[shygirl23]

Okay, thanks. That's really reassuring. I'm glad that others have this reaction. I guess I will just have to keep practicing, huh? Anyone have any ideas on how to get "over the edge?" I think I need something other than just vaginal/clit stimulation. My boyfriend and I discovered that when he kisses my breasts, it produces quite a nice reaction... are there any other things like that that help all you other women out there? I'd like to find that one special thing that does the trick... and maybe surprise him with an orgasm soon.