Wrote him a letter

[zentoCC]

Backstory:

 

I dumped my boyfriend in hind sight I think I know what went wrong between us. He started pulling away because of pressure else where in his life and he has some commitment issues. At the same time I started pushing harder because of what people were saying our relationship should be like and because he was pulling away from me, I didn't realise why at the time. And we weren't much for talking I was scared he would get angry at me if I told him I was scared of losing him this was my first relationship I know that isn't a good excuse but I was out of my depth.

 

After I dumped him he wanted me back straight away, we talked the next day and we started seeing each other again, we took it slow but in the wrong way we barely talked and when we met up we pretended like nothing had happened, I can't speak for him but it killed me not to know what was going on. Eventually we slept together after he told me we were back together, or at least that's what I thought the next day he didn't speak to me and when I asked him about it, he said we weren't back together, I thought he used me but the man I fell in love with would never have done that.

 

We went NC after the fight, I managed 11 days before I unblocked him on Facebook and sent him a message last night saying what I thought went wrong, how much he meant to me and if I could change things I would.

 

I got a reply this morning saying he wasn't coping very well and he needs me to leave him alone, which I will do.

 

Is there any chance of us getting back together?

[levie]

I can see the whole thing is very difficult for you and its very confusing. I had a similar situation where I got back together with my ex- he asked for me back (he was the dumper) - I slept with him - thought we were in relationship - after he got home - he phoned me, but the following day did not reply to my voicemail.

 

But thats where I did not contact him again. 3 days later he sent me a text saying he had a lot on his mind and he's sorting through it. I did not reply. 2 weeks later he sent me a strange email apologizing for his silence and equating this to a puzzle which he still owes me to solve.

 

I did not reply to that as well. The change from "I want to be in relationship with you" to complete change of mind - or whatever it is - has not been provoked by me in any sort of shape or form - and I think yours doesn't have anything to do with your fault either.

You have nothing to apologize for.

 

In truth, whatever mine or yours did - is not acceptable. And its certainly not in line with a man we met who courted us.

I think the best idea is to let him be with his own thoughts - whatever messed up they may be. And you - go on to enjoy your life and meet other people. If in time he comes back and contacts you - so be it.

Let silence be your most powerful weapon.