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Stuck between here and there

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I been a family outcast my whole life. Most of them look down on me. Ones I don't like much I just stay away from. My other side of the family, my cousins wives are outcasts...so I just hung out with them and we just pick on my family. I hate all holidays in the first place anyway.


This year i'm saving the family trouble by not going at all...instead I am volunteering at the homeless shelter.



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I feel like I would like to confront the issues that have built up a wall between me and certain members of the "family"...


People have been doing things to me for several years to knock down my self esteem--like indirect bullying and it is sort of a big and complicated issue.


I feel like others have pent up feelings about me, and i am such a wuss about confronting people in public!!


I do try and be choosy about what I do and say infront of them. My husband takes on the view that it is totally my issue, and he even adds fuel to the fire sometimes by stating things that make me look like I am lying to them.


I also have a right to my own ideas, and my own sense of self. Which I feel like they don't value. They don't see me as a good person. they only harbor resentment toward me, and it never goes away...


How can I begin again with them without looking like I am totally caving in to their long-held resentments?

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