Tryin to get back with my ex...Dont know what to do!

[ET]

Hey guys, just wonderin if anyone has any advice for me? Here's my problem- I broke it off with my girl friend of 4 years about 6 months ago. I regret it so much. I finished it because we were rowing ALL the time, just getting on each others nerves really. When we split I cut off all connection….which hurt her really badly! I had abit of a mad summer, thought it ws great fun but really I was just fillin myself with crap to forget about her and to get on with it. The split hurt my ex really badly and now I know how she feels.

We met up a few weeks ago and I opened my heart to her and told her Id love it if she would give me another shot! I told her I miss her, she said she feels the same, I told her I love her, she said shes the same, I told her Im in love with her and she said she wasn't sure but all she knew was no1 would compare to me as I was her first love. Anyway she said she couldn't get back with me now coz I hurt her too much (which I realise and regret so much) and another kick in the gut is that she is seein another guy for the last month.Which is great for her and if she's happy Im happy for her, but as I said before I miss and I want her back.

Any advice?

[ET]

Its a terrible state of affairs and what makes it worse is that its my fault!!

Feel like Im losing it!

[hockeyboy]

do you two still talk now? how much? do you see her?

[ET]

PS Forgot to say that she said she didnt know what the future held and wouldnt rule out gettin back together. As she was my only proper girlfriend and only love I really dont know what to think or do!

[hockeyboy]

and what are your ages

[ET]

Dude, we still kinda talk. Last time we spoke was Monday of last week. And this week i just forwarded a couple of emails to her

[ET]

Both 21

[hockeyboy]

you call her? she calls you? a mix? what happens if you dont call her for a while.

[ET]

Bit of both, but since I told her how i felt its kinda quietened down. She said when I told her this it completely threw her....dont think she was expectin it! N i didnt wanna put pressure on her so Ive just been droppin odd text about movie r emailing articles.

[hockeyboy]

and when you ask her to go out whats her response.

[ET]

Well when we met up she said that she really enjoyed it n she hadnt laughed that much in a while but that it made it worse for both of us and that she still cant understand how i could be so hurtfull (re not answering calls etc) and that shes not sure if we can meet again part due to the fact that she is seeing some1 else now.

 

Which is a killer for me.

[hockeyboy]

well dont rush it, it seems like she still wants you. im usually against trying to get an ex back, but in this case you left her, judging by her words, at least how you portray it, it seems like she likes you but is scared if she leaves what she has now to go back to you that you will hurt her again. you need to gain her trust back, not easy. right now shes playing it safe with what she has and she cant take that risk yet. giving it some time may make her feel safer with you, in the sense that she may start believing what you say. remember, actions speak louder then words.

 

do you tell her your happy for her but at the same time its killing you?

[ET]

Thanks, thats sound advice bud, think youre right, she is defo scared to get back because I unfortunately really did hurt her.

 

I said that Im happy that she is happy but obviously Id be over the moon if she was happy with me, I did tell her it was killing me.

 

Not sure how to gain her trust tho...

[hockeyboy]

takes time. if your still there afer some time she will take you more seriously. if you say your going to do something...do it. dont ever lie to her. be honest with her, even if you dont want to. tell her how you feel, the good and the bad.

[ET]

Cheers dude, all sounds very reasonable, thanks for the advice, I'll let you know how it goes