willdation Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I met a girl a month before moving back home from Europe. A few weeks before I was leaving she said that I am her boyfriend and I joked that it says she is single on facebook. She was still hesitant to change her single status and later said that since I am the guy, I should add her and she wont, so I did a few weeks later after arriving in my home country... Now, I am just thinking about the reasons for this...Did she want to have others think she was single while I am away for 4 months? Was she ashamed to have me as a bf on her facebook (even though she mostly pursued me)? Anyway, she told me today that the reason is this... That maybe she was used to mean guys who would throw her away and she was afraid to believe that someone actually really cared for her... Does this sound like a real reason or a red flag? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Always sucks when you have to twist someone's arm into acknowledging to others they are in a relationship with you. Doesn't exactly make you feel like she's proud to be with you, does it? Link to comment
willdation Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Yeah it really doesn't make me feel like she is, even though she is the one who first suggested we be mutually exclusive and not see other people and have a relationship...Before that we were just dating...but once she asked me to be only with her, I called her out on this and it took like 2-3 weeks for her to finally agree....I just dont really get that...And she calls me all the time, says she loves me etc so it is just some mixed signals... Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 What she says just might be exactly what she feels. People think some strange things, and they don't always think through the implications of what they are doing. So, don't assume the worst. Is she still "single" or has she changed it now? Link to comment
willdation Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 She has it now changed to in a relationship and she said that she is happy about it now...I just was not sure about this kind of reasoning because it seemed really strange for me, anyway... Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 If she's changed it now, I actually wouldn't worry. Some people are a bit nervous about commitment and it takes them a while to achieve that. Link to comment
bazza Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 If she's changed it now, I actually wouldn't worry. Some people are a bit nervous about commitment and it takes them a while to achieve that. Agree - plus remember that Facebook is pretty much built around snooping and playing games with each other in what I perceive to be a most juvenile way. My point being don't even let it be part of your thoughts about your relationship with this (or any) girl. It does sound plausible to me that she wanted to wait before changing her FB status as if you did leave her or it all broke down, she would have explanation issues with her friends. No-one wants to look 'uncool' on FB. Makes me laugh how anytime you surf it, it appears everyone in the world is so, so happy and so, so busy with enjoying life. Yeah, right...... Being single then 'in a relationship' then single again is not 'cool' in the FB world.... Wouldn't give it a second thought - enjoy the real her, not the FB fake. Link to comment
Wunderbarrr Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Think about it this way: It's just FB. My gf did the same and it bothered me as well, as we were together for months yet she didn't change anything yet. At some point I even 'invited' her on FB to be my gf but she bluntly ignored it all the time. I did, like you, look around as for why this would be and noticed it happened a lot more. It's not about being ashamed or anything, it's about changing something to the public to see while she is unsure how long it will last. In the end it's poor show to change your relationship status and be single again the next month, people will wonder what the reason for this might be. If this happens more times people will think poorly of the girl, as apparently something is wrong and the relationship status on FB means nothing to the girl. Now she did change it, you can actually feel like it's worth something, like her friends will also think it's worth something as it doesn't happen much or not at all to your gf. You might compare it to a girl having problems saying 'I love you' for the first time to a guy she's with. She does love you, but it's a huge deal for some to really say so and it might take time. It's sort of annoying in the beginning of a relationship and it does cause the other party to become a bit insecure about the real meaning of the relationship. But would you rather have a girl changing her status every time a guy says 'hi' to her and followed with 'I love you' or would this hard earned change to the public be more worth? In the end it's just an FB status, yet for you, and for her, it's worth a lot. As far as I know I'm the first guy my gf actually changed her relationship status for, even though she was with a guy for 8 months earlier. I don't know if she had her status to single though, but maybe she had. And in the end, it's just a FB status. Link to comment
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