Hehatesme12 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Me and this guy have been dating for 2months, going on 3. When I first met him everything was good. We went on dates, had long conversations on the phone. We texted and talked alot also. After we had sex we continued to do those things. After awhile I started to get insecure accusing him of talking to other girls, asking him the same question everyday, it started to become a habit. I think I'm pushing him away with all the questioning I'm doing and I need help. How can I learn to trust him and stop what I'm doing before I push him away completely. My mom love this guy, and we suppose to be making a trip to Atlanta to see his mom next month. Can someone give me advice??? Link to comment
LoveHim Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 You need to work on yourself. Stop accusing him and asking him questions...if he hasn't given you any reason, then what brought it on? your insecurities? You need to get them under control or you will lose him. You need to curve your behavior and stop asking him. Be happy he is with you, if he didn't want to be then he wouldn't be. Link to comment
Wunderbarrr Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 You've already overcome a big step, you actually see that you're doing it and understand that it is a potential hazard to your relationship. Depending on your bf, he will sooner or later call it quits if you don't work on this issue. What I am about to write is in general, how I see it, if you're dealing with a normal, healthy human being. If he actually has shown reasons for you to question him, to mistrust him, the below is still worth reading. I would however review your reasons to question him, if they are real or if they might be a product of your perspective based by fear of losing him. But, it is not all that hard to work on it. Look, if he were to cheat, if that is in his nature, he will do so. If he were to leave you, he will leave you. Your worries won't stop him, your questions won't stop him, nothing will. This sounds really scary, right? But, if you simply show him who you are, your love for him, your qualities, your values BUT also your principles and boundaries, you at least know for your self you did your best. Chances of him leaving you are minimized. The chance of him cheating on you are not minimized, in the end that is how he is. But, by questioning everything about him, you give him a reason to cheat and/or leave you. You may ask why this is. Well, if you can't trust him, what does he have to lose by cheating? He won't lose your trust, he didn't have it. For me personally, and every individual who respects his self and others, cheating won't happen because there are two, synergistic things that stop them from doing so; their own principles but also the fear of losing someone's trust. Google around for some articles maybe. Even if you have to pretend you're not curious or jealous, even if you have to actively think about not asking certain questions which might show mistrust in him, you will snap out of it. As said, actually seeing that this is a problem is one big step, a step I wish my gf of over one year would have made by now... Link to comment
disneyfan Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 It doesn't sound like you are ready to be in a serious relationship. Has he given you any reason not to trust him? Why are you so paranoid? Until you can get your problems under control, I don't think you are in a position to be in a serious relationship with anybody. Link to comment
Hehatesme12 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 No he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. I have just been hurt so many times I'm afraid of it happening again so that's why I overflow him with questions and find myself asking the same questions over and over Link to comment
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