Making decisions after a breakup

[LonelyGirl10]

I'm about 1.5 months post breakup. I'm the dumpee. I no longer cry every night. However, I am completely indecisive about everything in my life. I feel paralyzed by decisions. It's affecting me at work, and in my personal life. I don't completely understand it. Has anyone else felt this way after a breakup?

 

For example, I had to decide whether to move or not. I was having problems with my current rental, and the landlord wouldn't fix it. I found a perfect house, but I literally could not make a decision. I thought about it nonstop, and drove myself crazy. I kept thinking about what if me and my ex get back together. Or what if we don't get back together. How will this decision affect the relationship. What if this, what if that...

[beaton]

I think this is normal. I'm in a similar place where if I moved to my exes (my old) city, we would have a slim chance at reconciliation because at least we'd be in the same area. So what if I move to that city and we don't get back together? Or do but my job sucks?? Or what if I move somewhere new? What if?? So many new paths are opening up and it's scary!

Am I right in assuming that you might still carry a shadow of hope that you guys might get back together? I think that might be blocking your decision making process. Regardless, shifting from making decisions as a couple to making them for solely yourself is a big change. It' s all about you now.

 

I think it's all part of the process. You are slowly but surely starting to move on, and part of that is making decisions without considering your ex's potential place in the consequences.

Now is a perfect time to remember that nomatter what decision you make, you have no idea how things will turn out down the road, so just go for it.

[dion333]

It's normal. Depending on how sensitive you are, breakups can shake the hell out of your world. You will be feeling very vulnerable. It's a process. Be very aware and careful not to get stuck into unhealthy patterns that could develop into bad habits eg anxiety, depression etc. The pain is unbearable i know, but push a little each day to build yourself up again

[sportsguy9981]

Yeah Im considering moving as well.. I live in a small town without many friends, but I have a decent job here and my family is here so I dont know.. Ive thought about relocating near NYC, Chicago or Miami, I'm not sure. Its a hard decision, I would say to give it a few more months before you buy a house or anything, get your head a little more clear, for me its been 4 months, then at that time you'll probably be able to make a firmer decision. For me, It could be any one of the 3 areas I mentioned, or possibly even another area, the world is very open now, and if you're young and single you can move pretty much anywhere, if you dont, you may be in another relationship and not have these options again.. so live your life to the fullest! Consider this an oppourtunity not a burden.

[LonelyGirl10]

I decided to move, and gave my landlord notice last night. The decision was silly. I'm moving 3 miles from where I currently live. I shouldn't be stressing out over a decision like that. But it's just an example of decisions that are stressing me out.

 

I feel like my ex breaking up with me has caused me to doubt myself. It's caused me to doubt all my decisions. I trusted him, and he left me. Now I don't trust myself.