Good days & Bad days - today was not a great day :(

[bluesyvox]

I'm only about a month post breakup so still going through alot of emotions (shared my story a few days ago - won't let me post the URL). I have felt like I am on an emotional roller coaster at times. I am A LOT better than I was in the beginning but sometimes it just hits me at the strangest times.

 

This morning was one of those mornings. I woke up just feeling a tremendous sense of loss. This has happened on and off since the breakup (originally I would wake up shaking with tears in my eyes too). The only theory I have is that I must be dreaming about him. As much as I tried - I just couldn't shake the feeling. I got ready for work, dropped my daughter off at daycare and as I'm driving to work I just suddenly broke down and started crying. I tried shifting my mood all day to no avail. - I could not stop thinking about him. It just ended up being one of those days.

 

Sometimes, it's exhausting trying to put on the "brave" face and pretend nothing's wrong. I just keep telling myself "fake it til you make it."

[Dawn717]

You are going through the steps of grieve, I have my days every now and then from my break up, but you have to stay strong for your daughter. You really should be focusing on you and your daughter, think about who is the most precious thing in your life. Relationships come and go, dear, but a child's love can be eternal. I know, having the energy of getting out of bed is difficult and eventually you will realize this was just the healing process and you are okay. Take this past relationship and make it a lesson, because you will be more strong and cautious who you are with next time.

[fieryred]

Those are the bubblebath days remember the candles.

[hellomolly123]

I get 100 percent what you are saying and am going through the same thing. I will be okay for some time, doing all right, then bam - for some reason or another, it will hit me, and it's like a ton of bricks, right? It feel like I'm put right back where I was on day 1, going through all the same emotions, missing him more than ever, unable to stop thinking of him, feeling guilty, like I didn't try hard enough. Sometimes it takes me a day to feel better, sometimes longer - this past wave hit me and it has been three days and I'm still reeling. But, today is better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before, even if only by a tiny bit. When it happens, I just try and remind myself that I got through the first few days, and those literally felt like death - the hardest days of my life. If I can survive that, I feel like I can survive the second, third, fourth, twentieth waves that come after. And I get exactly what you mean about being exhausted putting on a brave face. I feel the same. When I feel like crying, I just do. That seems to help. I work through the thoughts, and only when they begin to become very cyclical and repetitive do I make the effort to try and calm them. Usually it doesn't work, so I then move on to distracting myself. But I think at this stage, you just need to feel what you are feeling, when you feel it. Don't push it down unless it begins to become self-destructive. It's totally normal for this to happen.