Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Me and my ex have been talking for about a month we broke up a little over a month ago with 1 week of no contact... Things were going ok until last week he began to have less contact than usual... No good morning or texts throughout the day mostly, yesterday I gave him some space and didn't contact him at all and he contacted me 9 at night but I didn't respond.. How much do I pull away? Should I text him today? We haven't had the get back together talk yet but we have spoke about taking steps to improve but I feel like this is a step back please help I don't want to do the wrong thing Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 What was the content of last nights text? Link to comment
mcgoldrick Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I see light here. Most probably, he still loves you. He had less contact with you, because he's trying to get over you. Ignore him for one more day, and if he calls you, talk to him. Drive your conversation towards your breakup, and how you think you should get back together(if you want to). He won't do this now. Thats men psychology. He'll try to show as if he doesn't care and it doesn't matter to him, but he might just be hoping you guys patch up. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I see light here. Most probably, he still loves you. He had less contact with you, because he's trying to get over you. Ignore him for one more day, and if he calls you, talk to him. Drive your conversation towards your breakup, and how you think you should get back together(if you want to). He won't do this now. Thats men psychology. He'll try to show as if he doesn't care and it doesn't matter to him, but he might just be hoping you guys patch up. I see the pulling away and lack of communciation as the possiblity that someone else may now be getting that attention. I see last nights text as keeping the safety net in place. Link to comment
mcgoldrick Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I see the pulling away and lack of communciation as the possiblity that someone else may now be getting that attention. I see last nights text as keeping the safety net in place. When I try to get over someone, I stop contacting them. But all the time, I keep thinking about them. So there are 50% chances of each of us's opinions being true. I do agree with you on the second part. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 What was the content of last nights text? He just said how was your day beautiful... He texted me good morning this morning... I'm getting nervous I don't want to pull to far Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 He just said how was your day beautiful... He texted me good morning this morning... I'm getting nervous I don't want to pull to far Yep, nothing of substance. Just keeping you in reach. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Yep, nothing of substance. Just keeping you in reach. So don't text back? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 So don't text back? Thats up to you, now isn't it. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is what mind games do. No contact is a mind game. He sees that you are now contacting him, so now he is going to play the game back. So, if you want him back, you both need to stop playing ridiculous games and talk to each other. Like, what is the POINT of playing foolish games when you both want to reconcile? Communication is how you maintain relationships, and it's the only way to really start new ones. If you want to lose him forever, keep playing the game. Me and my ex have been talking for about a month we broke up a little over a month ago with 1 week of no contact... Things were going ok until last week he began to have less contact than usual... No good morning or texts throughout the day mostly, yesterday I gave him some space and didn't contact him at all and he contacted me 9 at night but I didn't respond.. How much do I pull away? Should I text him today? We haven't had the get back together talk yet but we have spoke about taking steps to improve but I feel like this is a step back please help I don't want to do the wrong thing Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Really? He called her beautiful. He asked her how her day was. He's staying in contact. That's quite a bit of substance. Yep, nothing of substance. Just keeping you in reach. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Really? He called her beautiful. He asked her how her day was. He's staying in contact. That's quite a bit of substance. Now I'm confused so do I text him? If so what do I say? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Really? He called her beautiful. He asked her how her day was. He's staying in contact. That's quite a bit of substance. Could he be perhaps calling her beautiful to keep her interests peeked? To keep her confused (which she is) as to his intentions? None of us know his intentions when it comes down to it, so there really is no way for any of us to do anything more than to speculate. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Now I'm confused so do I text him? If so what do I say? What do you say anytime someone says "Good morning"? You reply "Good morning" and nothing more. That puts the ball right back into his court to continue communication Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is what mind games do. No contact is a mind game. He sees that you are now contacting him, so now he is going to play the game back. So, if you want him back, you both need to stop playing ridiculous games and talk to each other. Like, what is the POINT of playing foolish games when you both want to reconcile? Communication is how you maintain relationships, and it's the only way to really start new ones. If you want to lose him forever, keep playing the game. Where did she say he wanted to reconcile? She said they were talking and then he more or less stopped communicating for a while. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Really? He called her beautiful. He asked her how her day was. He's staying in contact. That's quite a bit of substance. What do you say anytime someone says "Good morning"? You reply "Good morning" and nothing more. That puts the ball right back into his court to continue communication That makes sense I texted him good afternoon hopefully more communication will follow but the ball is in his court Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is what you have to do. Keep the contact no-pressure for now. That makes sense I texted him good afternoon hopefully more communication will follow but the ball is in his court Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is what you have to do. Keep the contact no-pressure for now. If I don't hear from him today do I not initiate anymore contact with him, the week before he wasn't acting like this so I'm not really sure how to take it. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 If I don't hear from him today do I not initiate anymore contact with him, the week before he wasn't acting like this so I'm not really sure how to take it. So he didnt reply right back to your "good afternoon"? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 So he didnt reply right back to your "good afternoon"? Nope nothing What is the next step? I usually call him around this time or he sometimes does I'm confused Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Nope nothing What is the next step? I usually call him around this time or he sometimes does I'm confused Next step is do nothing. Ball is in his court now. Like I said earlier, there was nothing of substance there. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Next step is do nothing. Ball is in his court now. Like I said earlier, there was nothing of substance there. From your experience do you think anything will come out of me not perusing him? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 From your experience do you think anything will come out of me not perusing him? From my experience what will come out of you pursueing him is you continuing to build your hopes up, only to have them routinely crushed. People who want to be with someone will be with them, not bounce back and forth. Link to comment
LonelyGirl10 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I think you should let him initiate contact, and you respond to him. If he says good morning, you reply good morning. If he asks how your day was, you answer him and then ask how his day was. However, do not initiate the contact yourself. Only reply to him. I know it seems like a game, but this gives him space while still showing that you're interested and responding to him. I did this for a little over a month with my ex, and he's recently asked me to officially be his girlfriend again. I never cut off communication completely, but I didn't beg, plead, or drive him crazy contacting him either. Link to comment
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