Stuck in a rutt

[Cherry009]

Hey guys, just wondering if any of you have any good advice for me, I am just so bored with my life. I am 27, living with my parents, my job is about to end and I am currently job hunting but not having much luck. I have never been able to keep a guy longer than about 5 or 6 months and i just don't know what to do with myself. I watch my friends around me being so happy with their partners, starting the phase of life where they are settling down, buying houses with their other halves and moving along in life, where as I feel as though i take one step forward two steps backwards.

 

My self esteem has the biggest dent in it, time after time I meet a guy and then after a few months i get the 'your great, but i don't see this going anywhere' line and i just don't know where I am going wrong. I have read up on advice about relationships and according to the advice I am doing everything right....having my own life, not being high maintenance or clingy etc but still get no where. The guys that seem to like me are either losers or guys I have no attraction to at all. It's got to the point where I just can't face meeting any guys but deep down all i want is to meet a decent, loving emotionally available man.

 

I have a busy social life and fill it with spending time with friends/family/doing stuff on my own that I enjoy but you can't just do that forever, eventually you feel like you want someone special to share your life with and I am really feeling like this at the moment, however, I will continue to just live my life as I have been doing.

 

Anyways i dont even know what I am asking here....suppose it is just a rant, thanks for listening guys

[gilmond]

Some advice to you is to give the guys you call losers a chance they may have more value then you think. Also you just have to set in your mind on what you want. If you are really wondering what you are doing wrong you should ask the guys that you did date really why they don't want things to continue because they are the ones single handily making the choice for not going on with the relationship. Often you get around the age when you should get married and have a family but who is to say that will make you any happier. I know tons of people who are married and are unhappy but they just live with it. So here's what you do the next guy that you meet and have a real strong attraction and want to makes things work you be the one to really put in the effort to make the relationship work and last. Put yourself out there and reading books and pretending to be something your not never works out.

[emiveritas]

Hi Cherry!

 

I was going through the same thing about two years ago. First you HAVE to stop listening to the media and their lies. I'm getting vibes that it's you who's waiting to be picked up by the dude. The media often says "if a guy likes you then he'll approach you first". If you want something, YOU go and get it. Men don't penalise women for making contact. As the "old adage" says, your Prince Charming may be stuck up a tree!

 

Also, get a personal trainer. Exercise. Be healthy! You'll feel pain but there's gain in it. LOTS of gain.

 

Also, stop worrying and be happy. I don't know what you look like but I'm confident that you're a beautiful woman whose worth is far more than she thinks it is.

 

XXX

[Cherry009]

Thank you for your replies-

 

Gilmond- When I say losers i mean the kind who are no good for me, one guy i was seeing for a while a few yrs ago lied about taking cocaine, he began to take it all the time and i found out about it, promised to change etc but nevee did so eventually i left him, i do not agree with drugs in anyway, another example of a 'loser' that i mean is another guy that was in his mid 30s but couldnt even afford his rent so i ha to lend him money, he job hopped around and had no prospects what so ever.

 

I dont know where yoy get the idea that i am pretending to be someone i am not, all i have ever been in a relationship is myself, it is always the guy who changes, they are all 'nice' in the beginning and then their true colours eventually show. I do agree with you that many people are unhappy in relationships, i would rather be on my own than in an un happy relationship. And i always do make loads of effort, i never just expect a good/healthy relationship to just fall into my lap, i know they take work.

 

Emiveritas- Thank you, i always make loads of effort in relationships, it is the guy that i always feel pulling away, people are always telling me they dont know why i cant find a decent guy. I am really working on my confidence.

 

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