Define Love

[tough_girl]

How do you know when you're in love? Or rather how do you differenciate love for a lover or love for a sibling?

[nightrider]

if we fall in love then the nights seems quite long and you cann't sleep well. your only think of your lover and think how to make lover please. but for siblings we don't make effort they are always near to our heart and they don't go away when they angry but other then siblings, i mean the person who we love can go away and not come back. so we make efforts to not lose thier interest

[tough_girl]

Is it natural to hate the person while loving them?

[reborn]

I guess from your question that some guy said that he loves you but isn't "in love" with you anymore, that he loves you more like a family than a girlfriend, like a sister or something. Forgive me if this is not the case, hopefully it isn't I just say this cause I was wondering the same question when my ex told me something similar.

 

I was told by this guy after a year and a half of very intense romantic, sexual relationship that he loved me as a friend, as a family as a DAUGHTER!!!!!!! (Im 3 years older than him) that he cared a lot for me but was no longer "in love" with me. I felt horrible cried my eyes and my heart and all my insides out and then 6 months after he was "in love" again and told me he just felt under a lot of preassure at that time and that his feelings were just not "flowing". Go figure.

Don't pay too much attention to men when they say stupid things such as that they love you as a sibling! Sometimes it may just mean that the spark is gone temporarily (cause many times they comes back), it may mean they really care about you and love you but are not into commitment at that specific time. It may mean that they are overwhelmed or deep down feeling fear about some aspect of the relationship. Some men tend not to be able to handle many things in their life and preassures at once and just block their romantic feelings when they may be feeling like their is too much on their plate. This is not always the case but is an explanation to the stupid phrase I love you as a family not as girlfriend anymore. Who knows, maybe you are the one telling a your guy that you love him as a brother now. Let us know more about your situation. Hope this was at least a bit helpful and that everything for you works out.

[tough_girl]

Well, it's not really that way. The feelings are more to me.

 

I'm attracted to someone. He has this way of making me love him and hate him at the same time although I don't think he's aware of this. I haven't told him how I feel yet because I'm not too sure about my feelings. I'm sure I love him but I'm not sure if I love him as a brother or love him as a lover. I'm trying to look for the signs.

[nightrider]

"He has this way of making me love him and hate him at the same time although I don't think he's aware of this." you will have to tell him about you feeling. sometimes one side love make a pain in neck. so my advice for you is, give him signels if he loves you as sister you will have to love as brother if he loves you as lover you'll ve to love as lover. don't make it complicate

[tough_girl]

Well, I want to tell him how i feel but as I'm still unsure to how i feel, I wouldn't know what i want.

 

Second, i feel that I might be throwing away our relationship if I tell him. Things will become awkward and we wouldn't have as much to say.

[nightrider]

i can understand your problem. but you have to decide either you will have to accept as brother or you'll ve to as lover. believe me or not it may cause problem for your mental problem. It will be better to tell about your feeling. I used to love a girl and could not express that i loved her. Now has a bf i just wanna tell you to not express emotion which we have for others some times create problems. Once try to express what you feel about him and i hope your relationship will further grow up.

[Day_Walker]

Love is something that most people dont comprehend so instead of saying love they like to say that they are "in love". There is a dramatic difference between the two. Love is lasting while "in love" is a temporary euphoria. Love means different things to different people I could give you my definition but it will be different for others. It is important that you come up with your own definition of what is to you and that will only take time.

[reborn]

I have a question for you. What makes you love him? Also what things make you hate him?

 

I think it will be interesting to have you list them out.You may even realize in the process what you feel a little better.