Settleling for less seems like my only option. Am I wrong?

[TheOutsider1]

I still don't know how to deal between being alone or having fake friends. I go back and forth trying to see which I could at least somewhat tolerate, but both seem to make me feel depressed equally. Alternating between both seems to be my best bet for now because when I feel tired from one misery I can go to the other, it's sad I know. I don't like to be alone, I like being around people. I don't know why I have this bad luck of always having terrible friends. I've let go of bad friends in the past because I knew I didn't deserve to be treated badly and every time I met new friends, it has always been the same issue: they put me down, are jelous, they use me or leave me out and ignore me. This has happened with EVERY single friend. I'm a good friend, I'm positive about that but I don't let others walk all over me either. It's like they expect me to take their **** and when I stand up for myself they don't like it so they'll give me the silent treatment and leave me out for a while. I've met most of my friends online and through other friends. In the past, I met them in schools, highschool and under. I've been in college for a good number of years now and I haven't met a single lasting friend, just classmates who I talk to but they're very immature probably cuz they just got out of highschool. The jobs I've had such as retail, I didn't make good friends there because everyone was a lot older than me with families. I'm in my mid 20's and enjoy going out, dancing and what not, so I'd like to have friends around my age who I have things in common with. I'm tired of asking where I can meet friends because I guess it's a question that has no solution so I just continue on meeting friends from online and then we eventually meet up and hangout.

[poetryandlyrics]

I think you need to figure out how to cope with being by yourself first. Get some fascinating hobbies, study something interesting just for the kicks that isn't tied to your academia, be able to go out by yourself to a restaurant or whatever... Just appreciate yourself. When you have that down, friendship can come easier and you wouldn't mind a thing about brushing over false friends.

 

I'll also question, if I was you, what it is about myself that attracts those type of people in the first place?

[gilmond]

Hey outsider when you find a social click you can't get so uptight and let people rule you. If they leave you out of something don't get so mad over it just enjoy time by yourself or watching a movie. If you have a boyfriend spend some time with him but don't let your social circle crush over little ****. You also have to find people who accept you for who you are and I also find that meeting people in college is nice but finding meaningful relationships is hard so the best thing to do is find a person who enjoys doing the same things you doing and hanging out with that person. For instance I met one buddy of mine at my work and we weren't really close but we bonded over playing cards and now we are really close friends and I got him a job where I work at. If you enjoy dancing just go out one night all dressed up and just dance you don't need anyone or bring one of your trusted girlfriends and just go out. Meeting people online isn't bad it's a good way to get yourself out there but finding mature people who will respect you you might be better off finding them at a bookstore or coffee shop. Don't lose help just find a few close friends who you can rely on and not just some big circle mesh of people the right friends will come along.

[bulletproof]

I'm tired of asking where I can meet friends because I guess it's a question that has no solution so I just continue on meeting friends from online and then we eventually meet up and hangout.

 

I'm not sure what answers you got about meeting friends before, but there are plenty of places that are better than online to meet people. Do you have interests outside of school and your job? Join clubs at school, volunteer, explore your hobbies with classes for fun, join a team, etc. Also, don't immediately dismiss those that are older/younger, have families, etc. They can be just as good a friend to you as anyone else. Be open-minded about it.

 

Bottom line is, you are the common denominator in all the situations you have that are not working out. Perhaps you are attracting people who are inclined to disappoint you. Are you generally a positive person? If so, you can potentially attract other positive people.

[ami7]

never settle for less, rather stay alone! friendships are tricky things, most relationships we are having are related mostly to our needs, we need "friends" for different things, and when our needs change "friends" are not so important... at least this is what I learnt recently, this year I broke up with all my "friends" the moment I understood we were never friends, just our needs met at some point of our lives... so now I am alone, I mean without fake friends and I am happier than I ever was, I am hanging out with new people but I don't need friendship to fell good, I don't need lies, faking etc. it s amazing who your feelings/moods/needs are changing just because you look at your life from a different point of view. so it s up to you how you look at yourself; you ca cry for fake friends or you can feel good, healthy and have a wonderful life alone and once you reach that level, I am sure you will recognize the real friends you are going to meet and you will make better decisions in life, so now just prepare for that and get rid of everything that holding you back ...