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What do you do for relationship problems?

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My bf will say something like, "I'm very upset at you right now so see you in a while!" then when he calms down he'll tell me why he was upset and what I did to upset him, then I'll tell him what I think about the incident and whether I think there's anything I can do to improve it next time, and he'll tell me whether he can accept how I propose to deal with those situations in the future...


If he was already here, instead of talking on the phone with me, he'll breathe and breathe until he's not that upset anymore, then we'll talk.. .


If I'm mad at him and we're on the phone, I'll let him know I'm upset and I want to talk later. An hour later he'll call back and wait for me to cool down on the phone. ^^: Usually after we solve the problem I can't change my emotions that quickly, so when I know I'm already not upset, just still reacting that way, I'll tell him to tell me about his day, or whatever, and turn my mind away from the issue.


If he's actually here, we'd go for a walk while I'm still very very very pissed... ^^: I'd hold his hand though. He gets worried and short tempered if I'm upset, so I don't want him blowing off steam at random objects. Holding his hand seems to ease him a lot. Well, we'll walk for an hour or so, and I'll still be pissed... it takes me a long time to cool down. Then, he'll ask me, "I want to know when you'll stop being mad at me." I'll say, "Well, what happened?" "..." "Hmm?" "..." Then, he'll tell me what happened and why he pissed me off, he usually knows why. ^^: It's usually something big that can't be avoided, so we make up... and come up with a way of solving that next time. Aka, call me if you're going to be late you idiot!!!!! but not said that way.


If we're both mad at each other we'd hold our anger and talk it out.



Well, there's also the times where one side is pissed at the other side, but instead of avoiding contact before steam's blew off, we'll hug each other. I like huging him when I'm ultra pissed that I want to punch him.

1. He won't see my face.

2. I'll be trembling so he'll KNOW I'm upset.

3. I can hug him really really really hard so it's in effect punching him... at least for me. >_> I'm sure he doesn't feel a thing. UGH!


^^: but yeah, the above is probably our patterns.

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There are two types of problems in relationships : small problems and big problems.


If I have a small problem in a relationship, i.e. a messy boyfriend, dresses badly (no flair for fashion), always forgets stuff (keys), is jealous of every guy I talk to, but sweet, I just ignore the problem or try to fix it without him noticing (cleaning up, combing his hair, buying him clothes, buy him an agenda and filling his agenda).


Now, if the problem is serious, i.e. never happy with me, my looks or my ideas, unfair (lets me do all the work), verbally abusive (never happy, always something wrong with me) then if I love him (which I do otherwise I would dump him), I firstly tell him in a civilised way all my concerns, he probably does not liste so I don't fight, just accumulate resentment until I break with him (only had one bf like this, fortunately!).

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I go for an hour-long walk. An hour-long walk has been said to be equal to a therapy session. It helps you to clear your head, and take in the nature around you. Of course it's better to take a walk in a quiet area that is wooded, or a park or something.


The next time you get into an argument with your boyfriend/girlfriend, just say, "I think I'll go for a walk to clear my head". I can't promise that it will solve your problems, but it will help you to think clearly and be able to see things from all angles. Fresh air does wonders.

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Whenever my boyfriend and I fight, I usually end up walking away calmly to cool off...normally upstairs to the bedroom. I then lie down and control my breathing so that I feel calm.


Because we are both so stubborn, neither of us want to be the first to make up!!! But usually after about five minutes when we have both calmed down, he will come and see me and we will hug and apologise. Sometimes we even explain why we did things in certain ways if that was what the fight was about.


I would like to say that communication between my boyfriend and I throughout our relationship has been excellent. I think it's good to talk things through with each other and it can quite often give the other partner an idea of how they work.

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