Need Advice

[Bright Star]

Hello All,

 

I am here seeking any advice with regard to my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Both of us had a short relationship and we broken up because I felt bad from staying with her knowing that she wasn't getting over with her ex-boyfriend whom they went out for many years together.

 

Both of us still maintain our daily conversation and she have told me that she regard me as a special person in her life. There were times that I thought she were still interested in me and so I keep the contact with her.

 

It is only recently that I found that she was only treating me as a FRIEND, and won't consider any relationship till I settle in the same state as her, as I am trying to finish off my university studies.

 

Some of the things she lead me on were: Meeting her parents for dinner, she told me to tell her that I still care for her, she talked to me almost every night and many others. I really thought she still wanted a relationship with me one day.

 

This devasted me as I felt she had lead me on for so many months. I never really wanted to be friend with an ex-girlfriend. Because she insisted on friendship, I agreed and give it a try. But somehow I took the right idea.

 

I have to say maybe she have done these things to lead me on unintentionally, which I can forgive. As for friendship with her? Well, I can be friend with her, but have to tell her not to lead me on in anyway whether it is intentionally or not.

 

Have anyone gone through such experiences that they like to share for me to learn something? Do you think I should consider such friendship with her? Or how do I control my friendship with her so that I not hurt if things doesn't work out between us?

 

Thanks for those who reply.

 

BrightStar

[armasiel]

Hello. I know exactly what you mean. I have recently been through a similar ordeal which I just posted recently. I care so much about her that when she wanted to be "just friends" even when my feelings were still so strong for her I couldn't say no, as long as I could be near her. She plays on this, and I know it, and she uses it to make me feel guilty when I know I shouldn't. The problem is that I can't stand to be apart, but I can't help but wonder if she really does care about me or if it's all just an act to use me for what i'm worth. I figure that if she really cared about me she would forgive me for my mistakes and not be co cruel and evil. The thing is we've fought worse than this, but she's never been this unforgiving and ruthless. See my first post for the full details. All I can say is that you should do what makes you happy. I know how desperate us guys can be to please you "significant others" but in the end we have to remember that we're living for us, not them. I know this seems a little hypocritical, but give being friends a go, but if any unwanted complications arise, or if she begins to take advantage of you consider ending it for good. I may still be a little bitter, so in the end you'll have to just do what you feel is right, and remember to always keep control of your life!

[Iceman26]

Well Armasiel is right, you should do what makes you happy.....but consider this, if you are just friends with her, could you stand seeing her with another guy, giving her treatment of you? I think that is an important question to ask anytime you consider being friends with an ex.

 

I personally am not friends with any of my ex's and I am all the happier for it.